Heys and heydays
Going the distance 2.0 💋😭😴♥🌊
HOW ARE YOU DOING LATELY
Hellos sweet babes loves.
Happy 79 followers, am such a happy working girl that I followed my own proper blog and became the 80th did you know how crazy is that it is only you — yeap you
whom can complete and shatter yourself.
Bleed and cry, be happy.
It $ is a choice mothafuckerz
Think Chloė Moretz,
She is pretty daringly fresh and bold in most of her films.
Looking back, I always wanted to be a writer.
But life right now
I mean. You know what I mean.
If only we can do the things we want without inhibition.
Life can be so much easier.
But guess what. LIFE IS EASY !
RIGHT NOW I am fondly listening to LAUV’s song “The Other” —
Which is simple and chill.
Its basically saying no one knows.
You know, it took me a long while to forgive myself before I learnt that in doing so I am loving others through that act of being at peace within me.
Much to go to survive, and yeahs everyday has its own problems.
But you feel it if the love comes from you, and others fill it too.
Been those days I was really depressed and locked up.
Inside my head.
Wishing this can cash out.
Wishing my five years weren’t so full of bullshit and thrown out the streets thing where you camp out either in Taipei night lights looking wistfully outside coffee shops and waiters young as you having fun filled lives and social activity when you just don’t have it all figured it out yet at 22.
I am not throwing my angst out as I shakefully write in this ephemeral piece of device that is blatanly going to end when the memory shots fade.
And on location, I am on a brown chair in Coffee Bean, a capitalistic company yeps : writing my thoughts out on a low battery, milder than average, phone no phone.
I just wanna sleep everytime moonlight hits.
I appreciate long road trips with no destinations and the music blasting wildly on the blue sky,
I also dream to be a singer or some figurative artists.
Since the ruthless world appreciates the loud ones.
And my noise can’t seem to be heard unless you know, you may be my kind of people.
See, I still cannot get over my becoming. Going to Inner Space Ermita last June, yeps still June.
Donating my sunkissed 100 bucks to Baba.
Having fun P2P bus rides and pizza in hand via music on my fake mp3.
To people who actually, listen.
I never knew my soft, “silent” voice can be heard so loudly and valuably by such an audience.
I felt like I went on an Ellen’s show and sang to the crowd.
Or like, Sound of Music reference there.
Well not like it was an opera shit.
It was just some laid back, overly sentimental sang out tune about my pent up emotions and angst about being left behind.
See, many, and when I say many, people. Left me.
Many meaning probably 5 came and melted my heart like wax went crazy over wildfire.
To me my time spent with them was so important that they would rather leave me than spend some time with me.
That is when I realize you choose the people and spend time with the good ones, the real ones, the fuckups, the fun ones. Those who actually are humane enough to know they are human. And they appreciate deep, broken, psychotic and rockstars of oceans
People- like you.
Be there for someone.
You will know if you are getting taken advantaged of inspite of your weaknesses.
Nobody owns ya
Nobody knows ya
We are all on the same boat.
Why not be compassionate and true?
The world is a mirror of faceless shifts and roars.
And we got the music.
Be sweet and kind, forgive.
Take time to love others.
I mean, even the ones who held a whole in your heart.
DANCE. JUST do YOUR thing 💎
Btw I just learnt I havta forgive my parents. They are humans too. And being more reluctantly mature and “magpakumbaba” in Tagalog means that, even if I die tomorrow, or later, I have no heart to give to them.
What I actually mean is, I don’t anymore feel the trauma.
Being chinese was something I never wanted.
But I like kids.
And special moments in life that just pass by taken for granted.
The little things.
Those brevity mash of goodness and magic that everybody longs for.
Their dark story turned to a fairy tale.
I long for peace in my household ,the terrible tyranny and repressive violence and timidity gone
In my heart,
I know my parents mean well
I grew up having no memory.
Maybe thats why, each day I try to carve one out of my own.
(There really are people out there that are nice, so don’t mind the assholes.)
* I always thank God everyday I am still a skeleton with a beating heart
And there will always be strangers who intrigue you in a way that irate you or amuses you.
Life is like a carousel.
Trail the lights.
Have some time to discern and
Or simply, live in the moment. Aka FUCK YOU SALES
HAHA JOKE. Sorry I am hearing the noise of other messy ridiculous people.
Choose your noise too ya know
Have some intellectual feasting/ whatever.
Fuel your BRAIN.
AKA YOUNG FOREVER.
— @DEUCES (My real dream is to be a dancer writer curator artist)
And music is and always is my first ❤