Mop to the top

Life is good.

If people cqnt be nice to u  be the kind person, if people think ur someone hu is not capable of love

Stay away

100Today afte r years of debating 

On whether i git out if mah condo.

I finally

Got out! 

…Will always pride myself as a soaring fly without limists eagle where everything at stake revolves around but nothing is against me.

I got the power to trump the forces that filled me up with so much emptiness, drained energy, identity loss, crises, trauma etc

Long beach,CA


Bye, Ortigas & Company

Over the course of my life, I always strived for excellence and the pursuit for taste, justice, freedom of expression, value for money w/o compensating the quality. Ive been in real estate for exactly around 2 years. I got hired March 28, 2017 

My life has prettty much changed, since then. Life has its own echoes of survival we all follow, mine I think has reached its fullest capacitty. I mean, nobodys perfect, but I was having a hard time early Jan and Feb. Chased 8 bosses and got blindsided by the mafia.

I always had whims inside of me that my biological parents will get jailed. I almost had to go to the Emergency room or have some heart defribilator or something pump out my angst.

I have taken out my anger through dance.

Am quite the dancer not chosen for wild performances, Lord knows that is my number 1 passion

Earlier my slippers broke in public.

I calmy crossed the street to and from with just my left feet dangling around my headspace

So to be honest, i cannot always record my thoughts.

I know what I have produced and it has been such difficulty trying and carving my way being a proper lady, without fear of being catcalled。

My room has so much spacious mess that outer space cannot bend back time for me to go back to my previous employer.

I always had the best intentions in my mind helping out my former team.

The resignation was bad but Ortigas is my passion and lifeblood.

I was losing oxygen but still fancied giving out my business card to rich people.

I always dreamed of living in the suburbs

Quite the peaceful life—

My idea of a routine is absurd since I have worked irregular shifts since my graduation

2014, nobody acknowledged it as it was quite uneventful.

I will always treasure the gift of life though, despite my many fears

Living in the Philippines has taught me more than enough skills to become assertive, independent, fearless, faithful, humble, integrity driven, style, class, frugal, patient with myself

Tolerance is my best weapon, the economy may falter but my heart won’t

Living my life alone has had its ups and downs. I always craved the love of my parents since I never really had the time to be there for myself. All my life I had been a shut in. Starting from school. It has always been hard. Growing up was never easy. Sometimes I wish I were still a kid. I dunno where will I find people who will acknowledge and love me the way I want to be loved. But then there are also moments that defines us …simply acknowledging our existence here on earth is enough. Why worry about problems or people out there we cannot please no matter what amount of time we placed on self improvement our brains have shed so many skeletons, I wondered how can one manage to balance intuition and gut, but I do know my self worth lies in all the accomplishments that helped define me as an individual, because it has not been easy trying to love others, finding your voice in a critical world, seeking harsh truths that yield on our personal growth, experience, courage, losing heart is the very worst. If all else fails, at least, you can pause and say cheers. You have been made an even stronger version of you, overthinking or being normal. Isn’t it all quite the same.

Close to me.


My life has been pretty significant since the prologue of 2019.

I had struggled basically, paying bills c/o last year’s demise and pretty much been over my head for the longest time being.

Out of reach are the people supposed to carve by my life, called, “family”, absurd and vague they might be, physically drained and tied down to the notion that “all things happen”

Things change, but those who have found the Lord Almighty, will always rejoice.



Crime and Punishment.

I don’t need no bullshit, fake friendz, people talking, judging me. I have broken enough mirrors of me in the past. Dark times have risen. And plaguing me are the people from the past. Life is an artistic process. To be able to rise, we gotta get a move on. …the way we finish always defines us , no matter where we belong


I’ve waited on tables. Waited on people. Waited on bosses. Waited on days. Waited for clearance. Waited to get even. Waited for people to be nice. Waited for parents to say sorry. Waited for people to save me. Waited forever.

I always knew deep within me I could easily love and give to other people who would do the same for me.

Comfort zone has been threatened and infiltrated. I can’t even have a credit card for Netflix, even if I did had one …I wouldn’t use it

I always have been a good girl, but sometimes I have reasons why I try harder than hard to survive and make a living.

And anybody can be a hero, nobody ought to tell a lot of people.

Sometimes the best thing in life, is to love

Others who have left you, and vice versa, never really loved you in this dog-eat-dog, kill or be killed, hierarchical system of a god-knows-what emerging generation.


Self made.


Over the course

Of my life, I have tried my best trying to please my parent/s, bosses, society in general, living in the Philippines, accepting my name is an “S” and most people do not give it much relevance. I have tried to live abundantly in the premise of knowing no boundaries when it came to working, shopping, doing stuff for others, drinking, holding up a party, trying to get through other rich people, holding my status to a high regard. Most problems of mine arise from the family. And several times the universe has proven I had been trying hard enough to cope, make a living, be quiet in my own space, stop worrying about money- coming from such a reclusive background and being schooled at an elite school makes the mind a hard feat. Trying to be a winner also gets me very deluded and beat down at times. Being overly analytical makes me nauseous and I find it hard to breathe every time and then. It takes great composure to set yourself out there.


One thing I know in my life is no matter where I am at, I always make sure I bloom with selfhood made of kindness, wit, brevity, and a little angst to go along with.

Self made individuals live a life carved by their own choices—

People impede and step on their goals but they always manage enough grit and dignity to make sense of their past, present and eventual future.

Most people have assumptions and I think it is a healthy boundary to just let others be others and let you be you.

Many people have identifiers and the best one I know

Are those who actually, dgaf LtyH



It takes more than religion, self doubt, class and grace to become a lady. Nobody had a manual growing up. We oughta know how to behave perfectly in public and stay outta peoples way, one cent can cost a fortune. If you can heal your mind attune to the universe, you shall find the answers that you seek. I always feared my family background the most, lacking paternal figure has always been a curse. Today, I figured, just follow the flow, it is gonna be so hard before everything else gets easy. Having no home has been a ruckus to all my heart and souls ache. I have often dreamed of moving independently where I can fully grow my wings as an individual. Adjusting to other people, attachment, everything else

Aint really my personality

Most people I learned to trust left me out but a lesson that pays well, will earn well

Treat people kindly, no matter what

What goes around comes right back around


Lately, I have been focusing on my failures and it has greatly affected my inner health and mentality. I have been quite patient with myself for a long time now, and have realized all my life I had been lacking in manpower.


Somebody helped me

Fixed my own home


I am shookt AF


I always wondered how it was for people to do things

People did for them

And it never occured to me now how I always had to do everything on my own

It had been both a weakness and a strength, and it was such a shame how some people cannot see the real me

But you know, never mind how life has treated you,

Do some good for yourself, and the rest will follow.




an individual is a soul.

i am at this stage in my life where my privacy is compromised, where i learnt how people

Cannot understand me,



Inspite of all I did for them, my mistakes will never define me as a young woman,


That no matter what and where I am in life experience is my only teacher,

And I need not worry about finances, popular opinion, parents, boys, etc.


Because I am too young to be defined by them.


I am a postmodern era, and I fight my battles.


I always search for love.

But I realize that I already have that fire within me.


I am no Saint


But I always choose to linger.




I am amazed at people who, still stand in both feet despite the world destroying their enigma, their strategy, comfort, peace of mind, ease, temperance, self-control.

I admire people who know how to stand up when the fight comes, who know how to stay back when the superior is dark and gruesome,

Those who know how to draw boundaries

They are the best kind of people

Be someone who always matters the most to people who especially need it

If you want to give, do so with no conivance

Where’s Fluffy_

If you can’t find the solution, be the answer. The moment an individual realizes how meaning and premise can be found not just in playlist spontaneity joy giving and hope, everything negating their right and dream diminished 🐅 as we cannot be right all the time, we let go Surrender and recharge, music will always come find us when the world weary cross we have been carrying trudged us back. screenshot_20190125-232059



Cut the chord

Lord knows how much I sacrifice for the ones I love, who my beneficiaries were supposed to be, how my comm was supposedly taken away from me,

The tears I have shed …karma endured, pain released judgment induced and negativity that almost ended me …

Thank you, to everybody who always held my hand.

I was often alone in my own magical world, sinking deeply, I often forget that I live in a world where people lie, where honesty is discarded, where having a true voice trumps all advantage, where masks and mirrors triumph in pursuit of justice and criminology.

The faded lies end up bulleting us, and we are led to nowhere. But Yahweh says how our destination is not yet final

For he is the Keeper of our own Hearts

In Our Own Time

_yours truly ,


Go forth.

In deadly times like these, where you question you and where you stand, and crises arise, your identity is changing, tides have turned and the people you vowed sacred are now disappearing mutants x and holy faded jobless hoars cannot leave me alone.

Dear precious soul, being almighty one. Do not be eaten up by the evils of the world, the voices dared mock our own sacred holy lives. The bridges we have crossed over, the battles we have dared won and succumbed. The only light that flares.





“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”



The higher you soar, the lower everything else becomes, the further you grow, the more you produce a sense of originality where nobody can ever claim where you came from, your past hurts, mistakes, pain, history, vulnerability, the ability to forget.




Big Deeper 

I am not really a religious person, I do believe in a deity, I do believe in miracles, magic, time frames, happiness, golden times, brevity

Pain changes us physically but I think our minds are connected to our hearts in a ways that despite the inside battle there is a voice we have outside that makes us who we are.

People might say flowers and bees like we are not our jobs, finances, lifestyle but the boundary driven souls always choose the people …I always find myself

Because people always think I am a certainty that will never change,

I have channeled enough energy to mortal combat my heroes,

I know who they are.

Always strive to be better than you were before

Nobody should be pained in life

Nobody should sacrifice their own happiness to fit the shoes of others

Everything necessary is biologically

Helpful where words hurt us over

But we bend forward thus will not break

Flee the mighty

Surrender to the Real God



… Pain is inevitable suffering is optional

I value my blog because it is here where I have truly been expressing all my feelings, emotions, thoughts, whims, fantasy and desire

Lately I have humbled down to the boss I have served from last year,

And it boils down to it that I cannot have my clearance signed since this goddamn stupid sales director cannot freaking sign it.

I know most people avoid negativity, but you know guys and girls, choose your environment.

This is where you will grow and succeed to your truest form and potential

Time is life


What I have realised today is how the world will always change, and since we adjust to change every moment of our lives, we face challenges that may have been easy for us then but it gets harder nowadays. I struggled too much fighting and overthinking many problems in my face that I forgot the person responsible for my own happiness was me. I always chose to make other people happy. I forgot that there are several customizations, worldview and motivations in everyday life that I need to cultivate. I have learned to respond slow to people who irate me. I have learned how people just want to hear the good things that you tell them. Especially, if you need them. Life pretty much gets complicated the higher you go, your values might have been challenge but the need to survive and depend on others, will still be there. I believe the fact that you don’t have to be right, only to be there for you.




Sometimes the universe fucks us up that what we have been pining for is for us but then our own true gut and intuition know how many kilometers we have oft traveled to endure and achieve what we wanted to in life that we let other people control and manipulate us from our dream to fuel them and their fucked up desires.

Most people like me dont even have enough money, to enjoy, travel, do whatever we want.

We budget everyday and sacrifice our taste and substance just to comfort the needs of our adult life.

When in reality, the people at the top barely care about the small matters, the little things that already lits our soul, because they think life is one big dream.

It sure feels alright to think of life as one big bang theory but ya know you be fucked if your imagination, talent, comfortable state of mind, being analytical, having values, style, brevity, wit, laid back coolness, oh where is your back in this world of stabbers, more likely, create .

Learn from your enemies, live

Tie ere d


You just know when you have written the stars already but it begs to be rewritten. I often crave for stability but people will never see my persistent desire to free myself from the shackles of society, unmended but unbent and unbroken

Jk Rowling did not became an author if she had not faced and of her demons unfazed and conpletely fought for her rights.

In this real world, nobody gives a shit where you came from, what your mission here is, what your intent lies.

All they care about is what they get from the situation

I realised how, if ever we got our constants to have our backs then we would never beg for us to become prone to self reliance.

Our intelligent and wit is our greatest enemy and weapon.

If we let society mule and control us, we would be killing our self joy and pride.

Ego drives us to the goal, but patience is the key to our happiness behind the lenses of oppresion and belligerent suffering.


Growth recently

Becoming a conscientious woman of society is no biggie, being a street hype is~ born in Manila, This being has no clue of where she would fit in.

As clustered enclaves of doom and perish beholded her peril. She found this nonchalance a great


She tried to write one time at a time, but her heart begged

A million times, sad coronations


When school brought you to life.

When parents failed.