Milan Kundera.

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being

33995428_10156468235674468_8755296884504920064_o.jpg

ย Hey existing Followers.

Did you know that, being nice gets you to nowhere.

My advice is,

Stop apologizing to people whom hurt you first. Do not ever ever, treat people kindly just because that was your entire philosophy, or rather-

You just have a heart (aww).

Trust me, via my experience since school days thrust me the obligation to be

A loner.

Not only in school, but growing up in my early years,

In the family too.

So do not sellout.

Never devalue.

Always promote your worth.

Fuck the police, the wannabe’s, the assholes.

Water yourself with care.

Advertisements

Tupac

Heys and heydays

 

Going theย  distance 2.0ย  ย ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ดโ™ฅ๐ŸŒŠ

HOW ARE YOU DOING LATELY

Hellos sweet babes loves.

Happy 79 followers, am such a happy working girl that I followed my own proper blog and became the 80th did you know how crazy is that it is only you —ย yeap you

whom can complete and shatter yourself.

Bleed and cry, be happy.

It $ is a choice mothafuckerz

Think Chloฤ— Moretz,

images (21)

She is pretty daringly fresh and bold in most of her films.

Looking back, I always wanted to be a writer.

8123c6ade57e438bbfca0b9dee0d9f54.jpg

But life right now

Asdfghjkl .

I mean.ย  You know what I mean.

If only we can do the things we want without inhibition.

Life can be so much easier.

But guess what. LIFE IS EASY !

RIGHT NOW I am fondly listening to LAUV’s song “The Other” —

Which is simple and chill.

IMG20180615164254.jpg

Its basically saying no one knows.

Right?

You know, it took me a long while to forgive myself before I learnt that in doing so I am loving others through that act of being at peace within me.

Much to go to survive, and yeahs everyday has its own problems.

But you feel it if the love comes from you, and others fill it too.

Been those days I was really depressed and locked up.

Inside my head.

1million thoughts.

Wishing this can cash out.

Wishing my five years weren’t so full of bullshit and thrown out the streets thing where you camp out either in Taipei night lights looking wistfully outside coffee shops and waiters young as you having fun filled lives and social activity when you just don’t have it all figured it out yet at 22.

I am not throwing my angst out as I shakefully write in this ephemeral piece of device that is blatanly going to end when the memory shots fade.

And on location, I am on a brown chair in Coffee Bean, a capitalistic company yeps : writing my thoughts out on a low battery, milder than average, phone no phone.

I just wanna sleep everytime moonlight hits.

I appreciate long road trips with no destinations and the music blasting wildly on the blue sky,

I also dream to be a singer or some figurative artists.

Since the ruthless world appreciates the loud ones.

And my noise can’t seem to be heard unless you know, you may be my kind of people.

See, I still cannot get over my becoming. Going to Inner Space Ermita last June, yeps still June.

Donating my sunkissed 100 bucks to Baba.

Having fun P2P bus rides and pizza in hand via music on my fake mp3.

To people who actually, listen.

I never knew my soft, “silent” voice can be heard so loudly and valuably by such an audience.

I felt like I went on an Ellen’s show and sang to the crowd.

Or like, Sound of Music reference there.

Well not like it was an opera shit.

It was just some laid back, overly sentimental sang out tune about my pent up emotions and angst about being left behind.

See, many, and when I say many, people. Left me.

Many meaning probably 5 came and melted my heart like wax went crazy over wildfire.

To me my time spent with them was so important that they would rather leave me than spend some time with me.

That is when I realize you choose the people and spend time with the good ones, the real ones, the fuckups, the fun ones. Those who actually are humane enough to know they are human. And they appreciate deep,ย broken, psychotic and rockstars of oceans

People- like you.

Be there for someone.

You will know if you are getting taken advantaged ofย  inspite of your weaknesses.

 

BUT

 

KEEP GOING

Nobody owns ya

Nobody knows ya

123

We are all on the same boat.

Why not be compassionate and true?

The world is a mirror of faceless shifts and roars.

And we got the music.

Be sweet and kind, forgive.

Take time to love others.

I mean, even the ones who held a whole in your heart.

 

 

DANCE. JUST do YOUR thingย  ๐Ÿ’Ž

Btw I just learnt I havta forgive my parents. They are humans too. And being more reluctantly mature and “magpakumbaba” in Tagalog means that, even if I die tomorrow, or later, I have no heart to give to them.

What I actually mean is, I don’t anymore feel the trauma.

Being chinese was something I never wanted.

But I like kids.

And special moments in life that just pass by taken for granted.

The little things.

Those brevity mash of goodness and magic that everybody longs for.

Their dark story turned to a fairy tale.

I long for peace in my household ,the terrible tyranny and repressive violence and timidity gone

In my heart,

I know my parents mean well

I grew up having no memory.

Maybe thats why, each day I try to carve one out of my own.

-differentiate

(There really are people out there that are nice, so don’t mind the assholes.)

* I always thank God everyday I am still a skeleton with a beating heart

And there will always be strangers who intrigue you in a way that irate you or amuses you.

 

 

Be patient.

 

 

Life is like a carousel.

A circus.

Trail the lights.

 

Have some time to discern and

Reflect.

 

Or simply, live in the moment. Aka FUCK YOU SALES

 

HAHA JOKE. Sorry I am hearing the noise of other messy ridiculous people.

 

Choose your noise too ya know

 

Have some intellectual feasting/ whatever.

Fuel your BRAIN.

 

 

AKA YOUNG FOREVER.

 

— @DEUCES (My real dream is to be a dancer writer curator artist)

Wishmewells #tinkerbellisreal

And music is and always is my first โค

Dear Darla.

7860.jpg

Hello loves.

I feel like I am on the brink of my real estate career..

See I have been in the industry for 14 months now.

And I haven’t made my own sale yet.

I dunno how long is it for me to find the right client.

It’s just like a relationship where you play a cat and mouse game.

Like catch me if you can.

If you know what I mean. Living life in sales has been quite the difficulty you may never assume.

Your identity might be distorted.

And reality can be a wall or figure of illusion.

And everything is all on the surface; interaction, and so on.

How can you be true and gripping in a world of cruel intentions and mind games, a world where capitalist corporations eat the other little ones.

Where do you go?

Night Owl.

IMG_20180613_162344_903

Hello peeps

Just had trouble sleeping since April

Anxiety kicked in when my job

Had to stop

But rare miracles

Fought for

Comes and keeps on going

If you know what I mean

You may run like hell

But your mistakes will offer you great

Intimidating lessons- GIANTS ;

Pivoting turning points

Stuff made of magic.

Life is simple

Keep it real,

Stay classy!

Less talk, less application (makeup)

More vivid results ๐Ÿ’‹

Lastly, kahit walang love life.

Maghintay

Love ,

Life.

๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ˜ฑโคโคโคโคโคโค

Times change

Move it ..

Hustle $ โ›ฒโš“โšฝ

Btw

Im so hyped up for world cup ๐Ÿ†

Hello world it’s gonna be Russia ๐ŸŽพโœจxx

Closing time.

Hey all loves.

IMG20180611171405.jpg

So yesterday I had a client.

That was a real closable one.

But you know in the Philippines it’s crazy fuckin raining.

So our office at the North got no electricity or generator to power up the computers.

Right now my gut leaves hanging.

I dunno anymore if this is false hope.

But I am hoping with gutfeel and integrity

These kind people will be my first buyers

After 14ย  months of waiting in sales.

I just have to call tomorrow.

Wishing you all luck !!!

Also don’t expect so much in life. It is merely cyclical.

What comes around goes around.

Mend your broken pieces.

I know whatever happens at the end of the day you will pull it through.

Because you are YOU.

And no one

Can ever be.

YOUer than YOU.

cheers…

It is Independence Day here in the Philippines.

Wishing you a long productive,

Positive day ahead.

 

 

Much love all ya followers.

๐Ÿ’‹โค๐Ÿ’‹โค

 

 

Btw, sa Tagalog.

Sa mga nasaktan diyan

Okay lang

Let them go.

Wag masyado umasa sa pagibig.

Yung para sayo talaga makikita worth mo.

Di ka iiwan.

Di ka babasurahin.

Alamin mo sarili mo

Bago mo isipin ang ibang bagay.

Yay hey bye! ๐Ÿ™‚

Holly Hills

16708690_1834794003404215_1929750721721349417_n

Dear shebangerz

Is the world fucking ending??

images (19).jpeg

Sometimes

I don’t fuckin

Know

Who I am

Anymore.

 

 

It’s like I did everything for sales.

Got dumped

Got caught plenty times.

 

I even chased after my enemies

Like high school bullies

Or my kind aunt whom might not like me or something

I am doing everything.

To my moms bestie whom she ranted off all my goddamn flaws

To clients who make you hope again

Feels like Im going on a birthday suit and drinking my espresso having no gun to shoot myself.

Cheers to staying in sales.

Salut๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘…

Limited.

Hey folks, life is so fleeting.

What are your bucketlists?

Do you dance to the right moment?

Have you decided to say ;

Yes, No or Wait.ย  Have you figured

Out

Who you really are,19c91dd02e41486386b3631b023c7a08

your limits and unlimited skills.

Talents you yearn to grow and excel.

Your dear great life plans.

Most important: your timeline

 

9398e4d8448d4e77be1c2713c255e546

Detour

So wordpress couldn’t catch up with the internet and likewise deleted my over so beauty drama post about boys and being a lady …

IMG_20180531_185806_586

Lalang im just stoked

The fact that I have clients

I need some dolla bills

I got blocked pero deep inside

I have a heart

And yeash thank you ha

You treated me like Im some invisible

Lady without a face.

Thank you that I realised it’s best for me to forget you.

Thank you also na, kahit di ko kaya mag block nang seryoso. Cause nobody really blocked me in the real world, if they ever did they all unblocked me na.

 

Thank you na, di ka marunong mag basa nang literal sa metaphorical.

Na magagalit ka pa sakin

Dahil may sinabi ako tungkol sa crush mo sa work.

Na buong time nagsama tayo,

Sinamahan kita.

Binigyan nang oras.

Pero wala lang ako sayo

 

Rivr

Have u ever

had an experience

when u

Tried to save somebody

33038127_2095227307433263_7367774409240608768_n.jpg

but that

Person

ended up blocking u

/

to me even though my social stat

is a

obvious lonerista

Here are my thoughts

world peace and global domination

You can’t be right all the time

 

love people who love you back

 

The rest,

is just dead, shit scareless

NOISE

777

Dear loves

 

As I write this now I am shakingย  in despair –

I never expected people have limitations that

supersedes

mine

33619049_1061656140665176_2714333779618430976_n.jpg

 

 

 

a big terrifying thank you

to you

 

77 follows was not something

 

I ever expected

 

I realised this blog is my home,

my Only home

From the terrible and heartbreakin

 

“outside world”

The people who will judge you for your social status

Use you for their benefit

Abuse your kindness as weakness

Not being humble enough to forgive you when you say sorry

And you barely or like

Dont even know what they are mad about you for

 

Always take aim

Take heart

Pray.

 

Always see that your soul is very deeply enchanted and full of purity

 

Beautiful soul.

Never fade nor falter

Love you all

Hope.

๐Ÿ’‹
It feels so 2018 this May,
rare finds
The constellation fires up
;
Conspires- desire.
Forgive
Receive-
Live for thy brethren
Not of envy or spite,
Love the grace
Given
God
Is unity
Force
Goodness.
Forever
-In heaven, we will not
See the ugliness of the world
Its momentary stance,
the problems we face.
The cruelty dealt upon us,
guaranteed Our Creator
Almighty Is
The most Powerful Being.
Sherry my dearest,
Find love
And this is your Home.
Ambient skies
Heaven
Divine Grace
.
Save us O Lord,
Humble thy Name
Give us each day with Hope
And Glory
That We Honor Your Presence

O God Savior Almighty
In our minute

Whys

what keeps you going

these days

what spark

fire

heart

soul

does your heart speak

?

today I got hired supposedly by Ortigas & Company

I do admire their posture and sophistication

Completely

got emotional and confused

But I realized

I cannot give up my Makati condo you know

I still haveta sell some Ayala property

Before I getta move on.

Dunno if im in love, maybe yes

But really keep it trust

Do anything to be you

I dont know about you

But I long to finally find myself

Cheers and hello

Love

Never beg for love

I recently went on a trip with my fam.

My best friend from college met us unexpectantly

Lately I am depressed

What can I do

Ayala Land Corp

kicked me out of the company.

Sa sobrang depressed ko, di man lang ako makapag post sa FB or IG nang trip namen. Nakakapipi yung deadma lang talaga pamilya mo sayo kahit gano kalake problema mo

Kahit gano ka lumalaban

Araw araw

Wala din naman si Lord jan

Nasaan po kayo

Do you really care about me ?

Bakit ko nakilala si jovy

Bakit parati nalang ako nasasaktan

Bakit wala kayong ibinigay or ibibigay

Bakit di ko ever mareach yung quota ko or yung pangarap ko man lang na yumaman at magkapamilya

Why do you give people we meet

Then fall in love with

Getting us hurt.

Which legacy do I left behind

Or, that silent girl who in the beginning was never meant or made for sales

It’s rather obvious I love my boss

Sila lang nagpatibay sakin sa kumpanya

I really got no friends there.

When I leave they will just say this “quiet” girl oughtta leave

Like golly

I have never met somebody who leaves me and uses me like I am a money bank all the time

Seryoso

May konsyensya ba mga taong ganern

Grabe kasi eh

Sobrang hurt

Kung yung mga boss lang sa Ayala nagpapatibay nang loob ko

At wala akong panghahawakan

Willing na willing ako lumipat

Sa ibang kumpanya dahil no choice naman mga Intsik na tulad ko

Magtrabaho

——-

Art cant feed you

But the people you meet and treasure will surely leave behind a legacy

Boss Gad

Boss Gerry

Boss Ian

Elai Arzadon

Ate Che (though you hate me)

Guess these are my last words

So much for you. Ayala

I had your back

For like a year and a half month

Where and what are you

Success is a mystery

Where do I find the golden egg

What impact do I leave.

They barely know me

My powers

And disbelief belief in God.

What an ever.

So much for love also

What sacrifice really

When an asshole just treats

You like ____

Um hey Im a girl too.

Love is finding your voice.

Done

unnamed (2).gif

If this sales job keeps making me feel like some stuck up high school loner freak—

I still keep

going, chasing places.

Drive

Follow your heart

Chase the sunset.

Forget them

Remember the lesson,

Dance

Passion in your soul

Youth within

Your bones

๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™

Wherever

IMG_20180510_191859_254

Barely felt summer 2018

Highlights

I threw a party and 4 people came

I drank Sangria

I got sick

Entirely april was full of sick

Music is my first love

I am being

Humble

I love my family

My boss

My teammates

The people who truly encouraged

Me

To be

Simply

Strong

Kind

Reliable

Responsible

Thats it.

Though some days

I get the usual

Anxiety

Play this game

IMG-eab3da7f8fa0237913f510ae63557012-V

Summer

Hello world

Sherry here

I always wished I can be as pretty as Nam from that Thai movie

Beauty is on the inside

Our life will not be short if we fill it with meaningful moments

And live it

I also read a book

Humility is seeing less of ourselves and more about

Others,

It is recognizing that we as human beings

Begin to understand others

And put them on our shoe

That even though

they ignore us on our b-day,

Berate us on somebody they like

Fight us like we did something wrong,

We still stand up

Anybody out there left behind,

I will hold your hand

Loves and light

Sherry mae chan ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’œ

Too many things

f0757bbee2fda568df1aef888c186007

So heres Whiz Khalifa in Saint Laurent.

Tomorrow I dunno what to expect

I just learned to drown the noise in

From things that get too much on my head

That literally

I just wanna scream

Where is my sale

 

I dont even pine for a boyfriend

But I always remember the books that got me by high school;

the books in class academically

Assigned to us

 

The A’s I never pretended I could get whatever I aimed for

 

The movie, “The First Time”.

the guy in college I thought,

I actually like.

 

 

The many, many haunted things and specified images that haunt my head

the decisions I am making,

 

the laundry lady who was witty and pretty

who told me I am young to be 26

— tomorrow.

 

It suddenly rained tonight.

Maybe

 

the universe is weeping for my age

@ 25 got not much– money friends family feelings,

 

 

How do you drown those noises unwanted

those people who are assholes

 

Those people who actually are so selfish and don’t care enough that

you invited them

asking who is on the guest list

asking if they can leave early.

 

 

So why bother going ???

hellow

cash and carry netopia always makes me happy.

since the service here c/o kuya is so very efficient.

this is the place where i printed my goal book photos (framed).

the place i bought reasonably expensive perfume for my boss.

the place i had a guest came to our open house.

it’s been real meaningful.

i’m still lost.

may sakit pa ko,

pero you know,

i’m throwing a party.

i don’t feel my birthday,

or any days.

pero i am, always trying.

sana makapasok na ko Lord.

 

sana rin di ako mahurt pag walang pumunta sa bday ko

66f6b795053df676eada9092b7fa009f

Little star

So lately I panic and sleep for 100 hours and wake up to the reality of this thing called helloworld.

I catch myself most days feeling so hype up in anxiety aka anxiettack that I feel like nobody in my family cares that sick girl is actually here in their house thats not a house. Hello?

All I manage is drink the messy pills doctor says I drink, as I reminisce the times I had back then in Taipei I had to drink and buy those Chinese-Japanese Seirogan pills

And actually bomb on someones house after eating politely and having easy conversations with them

as I excuse myself

It hasn’t always been this way,

Barely do I have allergic reactions, viruses or whatever food inclined problems

But why is this happening now?

After I spent awhile Viber blasting people to invite to our event on Sunday

As I pity my boss that I am such a sick girl who always seem to have problems

Like,

When will my life get better

When will I have friends

Actually, real people to talk to

Those people who actually, will listen

How long does it take for me to wait?

 

Wake up,

 

Wheres home and yuh, gbye past.

#ToPeopleWhoUsedMe

#ToPeopleWhoJudgedMe

#ToPeopleWhoNeverCared

Lastly, adopting Haley Phams words.

If you dont like the people in your class, talk to the teacher.

Yups, baby girl

 

Thats what I do.

Now where is my 100B

Biotch

 

To the guy (are you a guy) who never will fully understand how much he/she hurt me

Auf wiedersehen you yes YOU

Still

To making wise decisions having integrity possessing humility being a good and calm person and knowing your limits setting boundaries and going towards the flow,

Making sure that God is the only thing on earth you can Trust. The only peace in life that will give you peace and silence amidst the noise and the empty convos, the materialism and sins

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

 

That’s ghandi for you.

Namaste’

superthumb

Read it and weep

Hey all,

I know in the Philippines it’s Holy Week and all,

And most people don’t fuckin’ go around social media-ing to respect

The culture and the silence.

Well for me

I did have silence and peace

I originally planned to stay in my condo for two days eating fast food

since I can’t fast

And all that shit cray

Oh and did I say I was disappointed in a crush professor of mine in college.

I looked up to him and all and he can’t even freakin’ accept a humble slice of life like accepting a friend request.

Sorry y’all

It really hurts

I think as woman’s month ends

It’s quite foolish to think that chivalry is not dead

I’m so tired

I just listened to my manager telling me to go home and all

But I got home and shit cray

I saw rats, cleaned a dirty bathroom and hell, even my clothes were so smelly I wondered if I ever came off

From a wealthy family

After all.

Here is my wish list when I turn 26

(a poem)

Freed

Hustlin since day 001
Reject

Friend request,
Trust

When people are just-

?

No more mingling
Boys

Raise the roof

Buh bye.
Im not ever going home. Take care of your self chip. Ollies always there

cbc36e0c26f8f5ed05bf77b772970133

Aqua Is Lyfer.

Hello world,

I am sorry for showing y’all photos of my face every time I post here. Hahaha. It’s just that these days I need that oomph or strength to get on with what is happening like it’s starting to get cold or something like my world is living dead on rooted plants when the seeds I’ve sown were nothing but carved ends

IMG_20180325_112730

So anyway I am turning a year older in exactly a month! Happy birthday to me! Felt like all this sales job has given me confidence, wit and staying classy. I realised there are people we think we like but don’t really like us.

Also realised Facebook is complete bullshit.

And how living in the real world preached me to be brave, to have a stance and to stand amongst kindred souls instead of harmful gossipy self-preachy anarchists

So anyway cheers to my last seven days at work

I am so glad I met such beautiful souls like the managers

Haha

I am glad despite all the pain I carried with this one guy, I realised he is not someone I should interfere with

After all this is my one and only life

It’s more of your loss

Leaving me after I said sorry FIRST

Regarding the universe I hope they protect me everyday

There were many, many, many close chances I could have been able to close a sale

But Lord God in heaven

If this job is not for me

I will respectfully quit with dignity

Oh and regarding Facebook

I unblocked all the people I blocked before

Safer to set them free

Go Sherry win the fight

IMG_20180325_112740

 

Let it happen

yung-unang-una-kang-natapos-sa-exam-kasi-hindi-mo-6969872.png

Lates im currently worried

 

about my status at work

 

Like awks

 

Tatagal ba ko sa trabaho

 

Or bye bye na sa march??

 

I so wanna earn money

and live and learn :

Bisaya

German

Travel and surf

 

Maybe download Tinder jwk

So maybe life aint what we planned out ya know

But there will be people out there to plant seeds

 

Of hope

 

And inspire us to become who we are meant to be,

 

So always learn.

Despite the pain

Choose your people.

Never give up on life

 

Past is past

 

Everything and the rest

 

just goes round.

Say my name.

 

So latelyimages (2).jpeg

Ive been always alone

Not partying, or anything but

Working my way

Up the industry of sales

 

Im wishing for some boom drop

 

out there

 

You know like keep the cash

 

flowing

 

Keep your days

 

Golden

 

Move move move move

 

Dont look back !!!

 

Find the power

 

seek the magic

 

Your adventure is your life,

 

Find a great partner

 

Talk to God

 

Leave people where you found them

 

Love, love and love.

 

 

God is a miracle.

Here are the things that currently run across my mind

Baguio God Sales Limit.

IMG_20180227_190751.jpg

 

Its getting late and its been hours since I have tried to upload my baguio street photography stash but the internet doesnt seem to cooperate

 

~

 

Ive since realised you can always make your life better

 

Ie. if you dont fit in with your job or the people there uninspire you go search a new one !!

eight hours ago you were a different person

NOW you can always always change your life for the better.

 

Seriously like im sitting right now in a coffee shop with fleas buzzing around me and it annoys the fuck out of me but for the sake of wifi

 

Im staying

See the bigger picture

Why do we work

 

Because we need to earn money to fuel our dreams.

 

There always is a cause and effect

 

Everything that happens to us have consequences that stems from the root of our action

 

If you believe in mind over matter,

then

All the bad luck coming or whatever shitty days you might have are nothing but water

~

So relating to water,

I’ve recently watched Shape of Water and it was incredible.

 

Im so sorry if the tone of this narrative is irritable (said previously im staying at a crappy coffee shop writing this piece profusely )

~

 

Lates ive been frantic about the meaning of life,

Like searching for your Truest self.

Examples might be going back to writing, getting runs from the gym or say, losing yourself over something ot someone in order to find yourself paradoxically in a way

 

I mean, ive been on this sales job since March of 2017 and it has been killing my insides so deeply that I have never imagined doing this sort of job and talking to these many people or hearing retorts that may be rhetorical or heavily idiotic to put it

Im so sorry im blogging my private thoughts on the internet

 

But lately ive been so sad im afraid depression might rain on me again like it did last 2013 when my tooth got chipped over a zombie run

 

Um or that horrid times abroad where I came and went for five months vying over a job title that meets the meager salary of a “yaya” in the Philippines aka Teaching assistant at a preschool or TA.

See, if I wrote over these experiences like going door to door in Mandarin cram schools looking for a job at 22, to finding one and getting paid your first summer camp salary at 23 and getting admitted to a real world job at 22 not from your current country

After getting denied from previous publishing industries locally postgrad I had to find my first ever real world job abroad

Many things happened to me alone in another country,

Like eating strange cuisine or talking to so many random strangers or looking onto coffee shops like snowglobes and wondering where my friends and family at

Or crying because my list of dreams in college got ruined because I dont have the support or financial capacity to fund it all like shit

So you see, the real world is tough and the vapidity of it all is self absorbing engrossment of capitalism and lack of education amongst peers around you who never fully knew the importance or grace of academic society, aka getting schooled.

When I entered sales I was frenetic and lost to the point of breaking my limits like crying since January or losing it whenever those “paasa” clients seem to hit it like crazy

But never actually buying into the idea of investment.

I never thought I would enter a wild world of drinking, cold calls and smoke everywhere like cray

Not that I hate it, I mean Ive always had ideals

But now they’ve been quite broken

From the roots of money and pain, the causes of unemployment and the search of another and the self in the ruthless world of changing economies and titles and global warming and months to the future and panic,

Ive had loads of doubts and fears to the point 2017 both terrified me and made me a stronger woman amidst the fall of literal and metaphysical worlds.

I have got many stories to tell and my grammar has been rusty since im not literally around academics,

But I promise you readers and 60 meager followers I will read to the best of success that I can.

And I will write with passion and wit and humour and pain and happiness to the limits of my existence.

Heres my prayer to each and everyone to be invincible, to follow your dream and to not let anyone have power over you, choose to love others, always be kind because love is kind.

Love is and always will be kind.

Next

dear-god-ive-tried-my-best-but-if-today-i-lose-my-hope-please-tell-me-that-your-plans-are-better-than-my-dreams-god-quote

Lately

I have been pretty depressed again

But working real hard !!!

๐Ÿ˜

I realized I have been thinking too much of what I had gotten into

That I stopped to sleep well and cried over so many things that are painful but petty illogical unlikely causals

I never should have gotten myself into

Anyway

It’s just that life pretty much determines where we go from where we got up from

See,

I was never really a part of my family

That’s why lately my heart has this aching hole to find like, a home or a family, something like that.

Where do you find Spiderman or say, God?

How do you stay alive when you don’t eventually know where you put all your hard work for is going to go?

See what I mean,

I think too much. I fuck up a lot but Seriously, I have been working so hard been quite paranoid and lately, lonely

 

Where am I going

 

Are my dreams still made and ebbed in time?

 

Away

tumblr_owtfi3aVh01vr4hkto2_250.jpg

Or a restless leaf, a footprint.

Is fault on a blameless day,

scrawled on a washed-out sky.

 

My friendโ€™s music orbits his home,

worms through the cracks

in the bluest lines, ever new

 

and permanent, staining even his hope

long after the lights stutter away.

And the rainโ€™s attenuated sorrows?

 

Theyโ€™re coming, he says. Like goats

through a fence. Like lava. Like tomorrow.

 

Copyright 2017 Robert Okaji

Easy Love.

I may always make mistakes and consume all those iced lattes from Starbucks and some of those capitalist bullshit, but dare I say despite not having any : family, friends, a someone to lean onto, there will be many misadventures yet to happen in my life, to wishing amnesia from all moments of despair and stress and catapulting loneliness or dementia or shit like crappy days to batshit memories or crazy yellings from mother to regretting I had this thing called a second Life.

Im wishing you grow up into the woman you are destined to be. Never forget those who cheered for you! Someday, you shall and will have a decent family and some company too. Real ones. XOXO, cheerios. ๐Ÿ’„

 

I Thank God Everyday :)

IMG20180118220320.jpg

Hello dear followers!

Thanks so much for going through some random stuff on my blog, I can’t believe you guys are 52 already and I mostly don’t even blog about random personal stuff

To be honest much has been going on lately, I missed the afterparty then also been overworking lately in my current work. It’s been almost a year, come about april, I want to reap a sale or two, God please.

I feel like maybe smoking a couple of weed could do it, rough jobs in sales are such a pity for introverts like me who pretty much overanalyze and foresight everything onto the equation

So anyway

I haven’t found my friends yet. Those change makers who come into your life like angels and wish your dream pull you up and never let go

Like,

Those people who really value you to see you make it real hard in this world and protect you from the harsh reality you already endured.

I wanna be around people who don’t take and undermine you and boss you around like you’re such a low status ranking peasant

and they’re like the queen biatches or kween bees of the world

nasty

enough to undercut your priceless existence

Ya know

Stay real

Haters gon’ hate

Stay gold.

Ps: please avoid people who always have their way /s with you, like asking for shit, toying with your feelings, treating ya differently in public vis-a-vis private, uncultured nondiscreet

company

Oh, you know uhm people who disclose gossip and low level conversations juxtapose that with bejeweled intellectual talk talk.

I am seriously depressed with the people who surround me.

It seems more likely to say that people you hold a pedestal to, having known them for them but actually having no idea on who they really, really are. Anyways I am heavily apologetic for this rant sesh.

Just been crazy lonely lately figuring out who I am like it’s high school again and wondering where my path lies this year

Learning that every challenge comes an opportunity

And treat people nicely despite the heartache

Of them treating you like a piece of shit (aka you dont exist in this space right here *ย  * )

I’ve gone through some terrible shit but not this social suicide

where you put your entire soul on a person and they just light a smoke and set a fire to burn your heart.

I rarely write about boys but really though, find someone who loves you

The real, unwitheld, facade-less genuine

you.

#HappyAlveoLife

#RaiseTheGame2018

#ConquerYourFears

#TakeChances / #TakeAim

Get up

gotta get going even though life fucks us up . Get baked. Smoke crack. Build foundations that hold you, carry you

Follow and look up to leaders who possess empathy and Truth

This is your life

you, millenial.

Gotta get get going

 

Speak out.

IMG20180103231914.jpg

Lately you will realize life is one blank page and nobody can ever really understand you and your lifeย  how your soul works or your mind

runs.

Someday you will know that it is better to love yourself and listen to people genuinely to discern yourself than to give yourself full to another.

Make you change, don’t dwell too much and spark something that will count one day in the future. Stop relying on others to tell you how it’s like. Tell the world how you want your life to be. Behold, this is the new.

being grateful,

IMG20180101120651.jpg

ive just recently been to dubai.

Its been real nice.

the food was amazing I ate much, but

The people were so kind and open.

I really liked how this little african baby just kept staring at me.

And all the head covers they have and scarves and them elegant long cloaks Muslim women wear are a mystery to some foreign girl like me.

theme parks were awesome,

Rode a roller coaster with a Jewish family.

Also visited synagogues and mosques.

Reminiscent of Germany

/

Happy new year

Butterflies.

IMG_20171224_152928.jpg

Im counting up the stars

to the time when finally forever is in the palm of my hand and infinity is where everlasting hills and valleys

light up

the path where everyone goes. Where streets are fled empty and full of beaming sunshines and tinkerers.

The dream is here, catch some pretty fireflies and enigma.

/

Dreamcatchers weave the shattered past of passageways and busybodied vendors, of lamps and carriages.

May your Christmas today, shine as bright and promising!

Always love and full of brimming adventures,

XX Sherry ๐Ÿ’‹

Toggle Sidebar