being the first born in the family of four and the eldest of three brothers, i found it quite difficult to navigate society and make sense of the political era before me. family was a question of trust and obedience. i remember in college i often go to our resident psychologist to speak my mind off. shut between worlds i only found my safe identity inside the school. dorming was a blessing and joy to someone so young and fragile, lost and meaningless. it was during third year, junior year that i made sense about academics when core subjects kicked in. i will never ever forget the times i had to edit videos for class during freshman and sophomore year, the time they had a paintball stand inside the school facility and i chickened out joining. the time i joined cads twice and got rejected. the time i got accepted to blue symphony. i passed their test or whatever. i will never forget the times i had to wait long by the waiting shed, as the clouds turn grey and my 9pm classes of crime fic was doubtful and dreary
or that time i gave my all in everything but only get a D in Math 19 or a D in Accounting10, or failing Accounting 30 or whatever that subject is next to the first Accounting subject.
i miss college so much i went there last may to get a breather.
i was badly wounded somebody blocked me just for saying good bye
i went then to our school to find refuge
best thing ever
i miss you bad ateneo
please come home for me