Finally

 

now i have finally screenshot_20190120-004711.jpg

understood

The balance of the force.

The subtle importance of seeking.

Years have gone by ,

Memory faded

But I’m still here guiding you, molding you, holding your hand.

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Done overthinking

Just phasing my problems like an adult

 

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I spent years in my life following the voices of people

This year I am following my own voice

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Growing up was

Something

I want to remove from my persona

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If I got the money and finances

I would completely

Go for an MA

I always yearned further studies

But life is a teacher

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It doesn’t stop

Until we reach

What we are born to do

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Time is life

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What I have realised today is how the world will always change, and since we adjust to change every moment of our lives, we face challenges that may have been easy for us then but it gets harder nowadays. I struggled too much fighting and overthinking many problems in my face that I forgot the person responsible for my own happiness was me. I always chose to make other people happy. I forgot that there are several customizations, worldview and motivations in everyday life that I need to cultivate. I have learned to respond slow to people who irate me. I have learned how people just want to hear the good things that you tell them. Especially, if you need them. Life pretty much gets complicated the higher you go, your values might have been challenge but the need to survive and depend on others, will still be there. I believe the fact that you don’t have to be right, only to be there for you.

 

Self titled

Sherry has her own fair share of weaknesses in the real world …

This includes 1 getting lost in her train of thoughts 2 being too pure 3 used to be emotional 4 labeled as emo 5 sugod …fight or flight 6 passive aggressive behaviour 7 the never die attitude 8 being selfish to people 9 focusing on self ambition 10 seeking recognition and respect

In retrospect I have studied my entire life. Although I was say, shy or timid, the silent deadly type my oft chattery peers in elementary to high school peers were saying, I was the illustrado. The loner ~the one always alone during reccess and mute enough not to speak blink 182 or say, utter any single word

Coming from a turbulent past, I have strictly gone from a school home environment where I felt protected and secured from the nasty eyes of the mean girls ala clique school of fish.

I was the very broken one who had eyeglasses, overweight size and the tall one second to the back.

I found high school devastating and filled with idle unused time for simply, studying. Or in my case, getting good grades.

I was so good at writing to the point that when I get a hundred to my score, those people draw near to me and say, hey you are not supposed to get that score.

Self doubt breeded the moment they labelled me as the angst shy antisocial fool who knew guitar by 15 and played piano by 5

I always wanted to dance though, so naturally by the time I finished high school and an elementary of postman pat I became satisfied enough dancing at our Christmas party, nevermind the fact I was heavily bullied in China at 13 prior to my Avril Lavigne concert at shady 11

My childhood consists of animé and rebellion

My parents, or my mom, would give me money whenever I get good grades.

That was how they taught me money was something to be earned through their way, standards thereof

Moving back to college, I slowly formed an enigma to my overshadowing elementary past …I was a happy child scared of Jollibee from inception to 6 years old.

At seven they curled my hair nastily and I had some stupid party I didn’t like.

In school I always was the one seated in front and always gotten into trouble with my highly ambitious mouth.

I would talk to my seatmates and then teacher would hit me with a chalk or an eraser from the blackboard.

My schoolmates named Regina and Martin would always giddily talk with me regarding Barney the dinosaur and we would all be happy

By elementary around 9 years old, after my operation at 8, having dual kidney incisions and a kidney failure slash dialysis, I found myself starting a trend inside the classroom writing letters with drawings on pad papers to pass the time and set the culture

Now as an adult I realized no matter how much people looked down on me during high school for being so timid and rock n roll, quiet and never trying to fit in

I realized in the real world of society where do I really find my place

In college I was the most liberal I had been and most generously hearted

Inspite of all my pain and troubles at home I managed to take up three courses and a double minor at the end of my hotshot teenage slash going adulting age.

There I found a cheerful girl attached to her parents while leaving home to stay at the school dorm by 17

When I turned 18 all my insecurities fade and I became the social butterfly

I was super into clothes as I was when I was 15 but in another level that I brought fashion onto life by that age.

18 was just a number but for me it is an age of self, a time, a blast.

I was dressing up all the time, started to wear contact lenses

And became gurly af

So by the time I hit 19, I was this really graphic girl that drew and slept in class and was the teachers favourite in asking recitation time, which I was often caught offguard and sluggish

Kidding around, my voice was still as timid as it could be but I started to write songs and played my guitar like a real good artist

I also auditioned to Blue Symphony and got in

I always danced by the dorms so I was having fun all the time school was boring.

Then around 18 I auditioned twice for CADS, an elitist dance org for people who enjoy street dancing

Got rejected but I found a friend with a girl who got rejected too and auditioned twice too but she got featured in Showtime at ABS CBN

Wow right! Good actually

You know, I feel like we are the mastermind of our own thoughts

I write these to acknowledge everything I did, since I forget everything for awhile and go distant sometimes

 

Like I need space or am not ready to confront others.

I am the type who truly believe life is a chain of magical moments

I am a Keeper.

Hope

Light

Darkness

…it is up to us to find balance inside the forcedd40b5e797c2b2ed96d9d95f0803f4bd

Bones.

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Sometimes the universe fucks us up that what we have been pining for is for us but then our own true gut and intuition know how many kilometers we have oft traveled to endure and achieve what we wanted to in life that we let other people control and manipulate us from our dream to fuel them and their fucked up desires.

Most people like me dont even have enough money, to enjoy, travel, do whatever we want.

We budget everyday and sacrifice our taste and substance just to comfort the needs of our adult life.

When in reality, the people at the top barely care about the small matters, the little things that already lits our soul, because they think life is one big dream.

It sure feels alright to think of life as one big bang theory but ya know you be fucked if your imagination, talent, comfortable state of mind, being analytical, having values, style, brevity, wit, laid back coolness, oh where is your back in this world of stabbers, more likely, create .

Learn from your enemies, live