Love

Never beg for love

I recently went on a trip with my fam.

My best friend from college met us unexpectantly

Lately I am depressed

What can I do

Ayala Land Corp

kicked me out of the company.

Sa sobrang depressed ko, di man lang ako makapag post sa FB or IG nang trip namen. Nakakapipi yung deadma lang talaga pamilya mo sayo kahit gano kalake problema mo

Kahit gano ka lumalaban

Araw araw

Wala din naman si Lord jan

Nasaan po kayo

Do you really care about me ?

Bakit ko nakilala si jovy

Bakit parati nalang ako nasasaktan

Bakit wala kayong ibinigay or ibibigay

Bakit di ko ever mareach yung quota ko or yung pangarap ko man lang na yumaman at magkapamilya

Why do you give people we meet

Then fall in love with

Getting us hurt.

Which legacy do I left behind

Or, that silent girl who in the beginning was never meant or made for sales

It’s rather obvious I love my boss

Sila lang nagpatibay sakin sa kumpanya

I really got no friends there.

When I leave they will just say this “quiet” girl oughtta leave

Like golly

I have never met somebody who leaves me and uses me like I am a money bank all the time

Seryoso

May konsyensya ba mga taong ganern

Grabe kasi eh

Sobrang hurt

Kung yung mga boss lang sa Ayala nagpapatibay nang loob ko

At wala akong panghahawakan

Willing na willing ako lumipat

Sa ibang kumpanya dahil no choice naman mga Intsik na tulad ko

Magtrabaho

——-

Art cant feed you

But the people you meet and treasure will surely leave behind a legacy

Boss Gad

Boss Gerry

Boss Ian

Elai Arzadon

Ate Che (though you hate me)

Guess these are my last words

So much for you. Ayala

I had your back

For like a year and a half month

Where and what are you

Success is a mystery

Where do I find the golden egg

What impact do I leave.

They barely know me

My powers

And disbelief belief in God.

What an ever.

So much for love also

What sacrifice really

When an asshole just treats

You like ____

Um hey Im a girl too.

Love is finding your voice.

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Wherever

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Barely felt summer 2018

Highlights

I threw a party and 4 people came

I drank Sangria

I got sick

Entirely april was full of sick

Music is my first love

I am being

Humble

I love my family

My boss

My teammates

The people who truly encouraged

Me

To be

Simply

Strong

Kind

Reliable

Responsible

Thats it.

Though some days

I get the usual

Anxiety

Play this game

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Too many things

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So heres Whiz Khalifa in Saint Laurent.

Tomorrow I dunno what to expect

I just learned to drown the noise in

From things that get too much on my head

That literally

I just wanna scream

Where is my sale

 

I dont even pine for a boyfriend

But I always remember the books that got me by high school;

the books in class academically

Assigned to us

 

The A’s I never pretended I could get whatever I aimed for

 

The movie, “The First Time”.

the guy in college I thought,

I actually like.

 

 

The many, many haunted things and specified images that haunt my head

the decisions I am making,

 

the laundry lady who was witty and pretty

who told me I am young to be 26

— tomorrow.

 

It suddenly rained tonight.

Maybe

 

the universe is weeping for my age

@ 25 got not much– money friends family feelings,

 

 

How do you drown those noises unwanted

those people who are assholes

 

Those people who actually are so selfish and don’t care enough that

you invited them

asking who is on the guest list

asking if they can leave early.

 

 

So why bother going ???

Little star

So lately I panic and sleep for 100 hours and wake up to the reality of this thing called helloworld.

I catch myself most days feeling so hype up in anxiety aka anxiettack that I feel like nobody in my family cares that sick girl is actually here in their house thats not a house. Hello?

All I manage is drink the messy pills doctor says I drink, as I reminisce the times I had back then in Taipei I had to drink and buy those Chinese-Japanese Seirogan pills

And actually bomb on someones house after eating politely and having easy conversations with them

as I excuse myself

It hasn’t always been this way,

Barely do I have allergic reactions, viruses or whatever food inclined problems

But why is this happening now?

After I spent awhile Viber blasting people to invite to our event on Sunday

As I pity my boss that I am such a sick girl who always seem to have problems

Like,

When will my life get better

When will I have friends

Actually, real people to talk to

Those people who actually, will listen

How long does it take for me to wait?

 

Wake up,

 

Wheres home and yuh, gbye past.

#ToPeopleWhoUsedMe

#ToPeopleWhoJudgedMe

#ToPeopleWhoNeverCared

Lastly, adopting Haley Phams words.

If you dont like the people in your class, talk to the teacher.

Yups, baby girl

 

Thats what I do.

Now where is my 100B

Biotch

 

To the guy (are you a guy) who never will fully understand how much he/she hurt me

Auf wiedersehen you yes YOU

Still

To making wise decisions having integrity possessing humility being a good and calm person and knowing your limits setting boundaries and going towards the flow,

Making sure that God is the only thing on earth you can Trust. The only peace in life that will give you peace and silence amidst the noise and the empty convos, the materialism and sins

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

 

That’s ghandi for you.

Namaste’

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