dopeness

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hey all its raining today in mnl philippines and i recently got out my condo to buy food and shakes, paid 20 to the tric driver whom told me he always noticed me walking by the streets, commenting i walk quite too far from where i was going and im like shutting up since he is a stranger old man and im minding my own business

kidding aside i literally save money by walking so even though plenty times jeepneys motorbikes esp cars beep honk and yap at me, like “DO YOU WANNA DIE”

I still cross the streets and walk.

Tbh abroad you can easily navigate the streets due to pedestrians and walkways,

how i wish in the future there will be a plan to build more walkways in the streets so people wont jaywalk anymore

*sigh

anyhow

i miss working

later on i might try to go out again and go to circuit and pretend i have a social life

i was invited to a free entrance to power mac spotlight and it might be my first time to watch there if ever i do come

hehe

wish me luck

my mom wants me home since i know marami yan papautos sakin

im like no mom im staying here

hahaha

anyway

thanks y’all

been nice and warm

stay alive

nonchalance

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so i have secretly accepted that there are many many things places people situations pain suffering etc in the world i cannot change

i cannot change where i come from

i cannot change the past

i cannot

undo forget all the reality that is happening

and the people around me

but what i can change is myself

my regrowth

my beginning

my disposition in life

apparently

my metamorphosis

look alive

 

dear loves,

i havent gone home in a really long time

thanks to the likers whom inspire me

you probably dont know

but i always thank heavens

for people like you

its hard to trust strangers in the outside world

sometimes

you just have to take the leap

im glad i always find rest

in this blog

amazing likers

im a flawed human

but at least i fight and get it done

you know

its been really cold

but i always tell myself its gonna get better

left all my so called friends

ive been tied up in sales since april 2017

dunno why

am i here.

 

all ive been doing is keeping my head above water.

 

that was the tune i sang last team building when i was still in my,former employer.

most high class managers there told me

dapat

nagstay

daw ako

well

mahirap

ng

wala

ng allowance

no parental guidance since 17

dormed na in college

echos echos aside

ive been in my condo for a year and 3 months

ive loved every bit of it

and i was the very first

to live here in this building

 

thank you so much.

 

tomorrow i might lose my job

 

but ya know

 

it will be worth it.

 

thank you guys so much.

love y’all 😝🏅

cheerios

Whys

what keeps you going

these days

what spark

fire

heart

soul

does your heart speak

?

today I got hired supposedly by Ortigas & Company

I do admire their posture and sophistication

Completely

got emotional and confused

But I realized

I cannot give up my Makati condo you know

I still haveta sell some Ayala property

Before I getta move on.

Dunno if im in love, maybe yes

But really keep it trust

Do anything to be you

I dont know about you

But I long to finally find myself

Cheers and hello

Little star

So lately I panic and sleep for 100 hours and wake up to the reality of this thing called helloworld.

I catch myself most days feeling so hype up in anxiety aka anxiettack that I feel like nobody in my family cares that sick girl is actually here in their house thats not a house. Hello?

All I manage is drink the messy pills doctor says I drink, as I reminisce the times I had back then in Taipei I had to drink and buy those Chinese-Japanese Seirogan pills

And actually bomb on someones house after eating politely and having easy conversations with them

as I excuse myself

It hasn’t always been this way,

Barely do I have allergic reactions, viruses or whatever food inclined problems

But why is this happening now?

After I spent awhile Viber blasting people to invite to our event on Sunday

As I pity my boss that I am such a sick girl who always seem to have problems

Like,

When will my life get better

When will I have friends

Actually, real people to talk to

Those people who actually, will listen

How long does it take for me to wait?

 

Wake up,

 

Wheres home and yuh, gbye past.

#ToPeopleWhoUsedMe

#ToPeopleWhoJudgedMe

#ToPeopleWhoNeverCared

Lastly, adopting Haley Phams words.

If you dont like the people in your class, talk to the teacher.

Yups, baby girl

 

Thats what I do.

Now where is my 100B

Biotch

 

To the guy (are you a guy) who never will fully understand how much he/she hurt me

Auf wiedersehen you yes YOU