Achilles heel.

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I will never forget this day I got hold up by the world and felt compromised in a way that I mirrored myself through reflections and thoughts and analyzed them and finally figured out how people easily see through me and I reframed my mind and weakness to the point it was becoming a struggle to become myself since I don’t know if I should change and play the games of this wild world or stay true to who I am where the lotus in me broke and that inner child died and was replaced by a bloody version eager to prey on others as to which my journey continues on how do I handle problems like a monkey, an adult, or a lion.

 

Will I keep on this game and continue it like an adult and be influenced by the deadly world, or do I retreat in my sanctuary and still be myself, listen to the still, small voice and wait.

For change to come

Where is my million

Why do I have to endure bloodshot eyes and bloodshed and recognize the lack of validity love structure support spine in my family…the root cause of evil, the main reason I got shookt and taken by societal norms and dunno whether to conform and fight for myself or face moral obligation as a mere mortal and surrender everything to God.

 

Only He knows my true worth and struggle

 

Please pray for me.

 

Am I done in sales or is life truly just a matter of playing hide and seek

Of deceit and figures

Disillusionment and illusion

Will I throw away my sanity and literature world to this futile collaborative, destructive world of mortal combat

Or take everything literally and lose my world of literature, adventure, sense, being, time, philosophy, moral values, my distinction of right and wrong.

When does this life end?…when will my suffering end

I figured I should just put a stop to sales. I have harbored enough hatred and disfigured negativity and am tired of playing poker cards chess horsemanship when they cannot even back me up

So much for you,

Ayala Land Premier

What brand

Ortigas & Company

Love the brand, hate the people culture and bigotry and hurt they piled up inside my heart and made me a human monster

-how not to be influenced by others, become a noncomformist

When you were born a fucked up leader and born to stand out in a world of lies continuing to hurt and manipulate you?!

Sherry,

Forever my friend and constant enemy

Sobrang hirap mamuhay pag nagiba values mo.

Kahit manalo ka, tibay parin ang lakas na alam mo nasa lugar ka

And hindi ka ever vinulgar nang mundo, ibang tao, impuwensiya at iba pa

 

So much for society

I have killed myself and reborn myself a million years for sales

Trumped persistence and trumped everything over and over again

Kneeled and bowed down to my own biological parents, who shookted me into the world, constantly apologized for people who will never understand me and see my worth.

 

Thanks to the people who truly supported me

Ms Dior and Boss Gad

I always struck by Alveo because of the bosses

They were my three kings

I was the constant

That was my world in the past

Now I think exiting sales after a day of training in Ayala Land Premier should be worth it

Never regret a day in your life

Bad days always give you experience and a fresh take on your self

Never compromise the flesh and the world and be eaten by it

This is not Venom, this is the real world

 

I will never compromise my character over people who treat me like a puppeteer when I used to be a puppet to society

 

Yours truly,

The everlasting iconoclast

 

Do I believe in hardship and suffering!??

 

Never since I was a born strong woman and have felt the gravity in this world.

 

I am constantly growing, learning, achieving

 

I might be stuck now but there always is tomorrow

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dreamers .

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dearest papa god

okay naman

buhay pa ko

nakakaiyak na 102 follows

na ako sa

wordpress

kahit di ko gaano

trip

buhay ko

buhay pa ko

nagaalala ako parati

sa nakaraan

sa kasalukuyan

sa mga taong sumakit ng loob ko at di na ko

kinausap

iniwan ganun

masaya naman ako

kahit walang pamilya

sanay na

maging magisa

the loner life chose me

diba

said some rough words

on my current boss

di kasi professional ang ugali

mali talaga trato sakin

dapat kasi pag may nakita kang ginto

 

aalagaan mo

 

tapos

sinabi niya pa

may nagsabi daw sakanya

na nag da-drive,

sa commons,

na sabihan ang tauhan mo

na tumingin bago tumawid haha

thats my trademark since berlin days

I literally jaywalk

I don’t care.

It’s not like this is cruel intentions and ryan is just gonna get in there and save reese witherspoon right haha

Di eto titanic

Kaya amp

Pakealam niyo

Do you know months days weeks

na ko di umuuwi sa amin

bakit kasi

di nalang ginawang probinsiya ang Malabon

anu na kaya nangyari sa banyo at kuwarto ko

may maid kami pero di linilinis yung part ko sa bahay

amp yung pinakaluma na ngayung kuwarto ko eh

hahaha chos

i miss my friends but they dont miss me!

after all

magkaiba kami ng buhay

sila, di kailangan mag street life lel

super duper

safe

hahahaha

as in like nasa bahay lang

di kailangan magtrabaho sa

labas

yaman yaman

hahaha

wala na ko masabe

malungkot lang na

di ako magiging writer sa Pilipinas

kahit anak nalang bigay niyo Lord

pero alam ko

tagal pa nun

haha

I kept eating lately

kasi parang nangayayat ako nung nakaraang last two weeks ng agosto

tambay bahay

naka team bahay lang

nasa condo lang hahaha

pa circuit circuit nung nakalabas

ahaha

oy by the way

as in kahapon lang ako kumain ng masarap 😦

dati tambayan ko army navy sa circuit

ngayon

di ko na trip

huhu

kaya natuwa nalang ako sa chicken pie ng bannaple sigh

culinary philippines

nag isaw nalang dapat oy

haha

tas kanina lang ako nakakain ng grabe sarap

as in coco ibanya estancia kakaibabe talaga

service is excellente par excellance

tapos kahit mahal busog diba

eh di wow din I chugged down a whole box of pizza

8 slices nom nom

masaya naman kanina

parang pede talaga ko mag give up sa company

pero nag start na ko sa sales

kaya tuloy mo lang

isipin mo

kahit di ko gusto yung posisiyon ko ngayon

balang araw kahit san man ako

aangat din

salamat sa lahat ng taong nag care sakin tapos talagang nagsabi na bilib sila

na malakas potential ko

na salamat sa oras

diba?

props to those people I respect na sinabihan talaga ko lupet daw lodi

di lang ako basta basta tumatanggap ng kritisismo

lalo na kung ikaw mas bata pa sakin

tapos di kita trip

tapos kung anu ano sinasabi na magaling ako ganon

idgaf motherfucker

di ka boss sa Ayala

K

haha

kadiri talaga teammates ko

pangarap ko eto

1 be very busy as of the moment

2 plan your life for 2019

3 okay lang second runner up …actually secondplacer dapat ang tawag ulol , sa guest awarding for august pft wtv sabi kasi ako daw top manloloko sinungaling wtv losers

4 umahon ka ‘day

5 kahit di ko mashow sa world talents ko, aware ako na malayo mararating ng mga ginagawa ko

6 at talagang aesthetically inclined ako sa mga sinig at iba pa

7 ok lang di ako dancer

8 sensiya na

9 balak ko tumbahin ang mundo balang araw

10 at sumabak

sa bawat laban haharapin.

Amen haha sarreh don’t rly pray um uh

🦍🦄

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING

Midnight hours

Fast forward life.

“Where do you see yourself in five years ” has been a roundabout question I have been evading and constantly contemplating the past years

Since I turned 22 , life has gone aflame with problems and worry endless supply of gloom and misfortune

Fortunately on a bright note I got “adopted ” in Taiwan and was offered a three year teaching assistant

Job.

Lord knows the struggles I faced

Dropped in a foreign fantasy land elsewhere thinking I could

Dance my way into employment streets and subways. .

Now onto the future

What my life has been since quitting said job

And only finishing my spontaneous paid underrated English summer camp experience internship

Fast forward to tomorrow

.

Here I was back in manila dreary and helpless with no money yet again

Who knew I could survive

But backlashing the past

Never did I know my rents would dare confine me to an institution

with Half my consent

Such ass-filled days but I learned ripe the most darn sure

Life is worth the gold we seek

.

It is up to us to make it brighter

And more beautiful of course

 

* cheers to all who have been struggling lately

*love u all lots

Hugs

xx (*´∇`*)