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nonchalance

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so i have secretly accepted that there are many many things places people situations pain suffering etc in the world i cannot change

i cannot change where i come from

i cannot change the past

i cannot

undo forget all the reality that is happening

and the people around me

but what i can change is myself

my regrowth

my beginning

my disposition in life

apparently

my metamorphosis

Bullying

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All my life I have been a silent child, up to responsible sensible young adult who can drive at seventeen to a sweet rebel teenager who can stand up and fight for herself

I can handle people throwing shade at me as I know how to fight back and scream in silence but what I cannot most tolerate are the treatment my parents have shown since birth

All they do is complain they spent a million on my studies, a million on my operation, which by the way was so critical looking back I wished God whomever He is took me already

To cut it short, someday I know I can tell with bright fiery eyes and gleam how I was raised in an abusive household. Up to now that I am a working twenty something, I left all my so called friends who have decent parents and travel and have a social life.

My heart burns with hatred but nobody should judge that. Everytime I go home my mom manages to say something unkind, or just last night my dad told me, if my attitude stays the same, then nobody will come near me.

It was hurtful how he delivered it. I was simply listening at my earphones music blasting that I had nonchalantly closed the door. It was barely loud but I guess the crickets were banging that it was apparently audible.

In my heart I have humbled a sense not to cry anymore over nonsense things. But it shookt me that he really is a patriarch old man who cannot modernize his ways, who always treat others better, who cannot accept girls in the family.

I am the first born and only girl

Many times some dear people told me not to be self pity to myself, but other times you simply cannot help it

Being emo, being so hard on yourself to the point your current boss tells you be happy and not be emo

So anyway point is Im growing up

I wish to finally break the curse of the rebellious teenage angst me and live a life of my own alone. Financially capable and knows how the world works.

Thank you for reading.

If ever you do.

Happy October.

50/50

hi-3

Ey guys ! Thanks for 108

It has been a pretty rough year for me

And I am sure with all of you as well

Challenges are tough but our minds and hearts

Are enough to combat the daily obstacles we face through

Today at dawn

I painted my nails yellow

It felt so refreshing

Currently I felt that my obsession as a fangurl for Avril Lavigne has faded

She cant seem to change image and tune

The rockstar getup kinda gone

Dope ya know

Then theres this thing that keeps me up at night

How the world demands I get a boyfriend

How I am tired of putting up with questions I cannot answer

How I know I will be single for a long time

And the plenty questions I fish out the universe for

The power I used to have

The words ubiquitously jamming inside my head

When do I get my sale

How long do I have to wait

Or do I

Simply

Explode ?

Btw I plan to probably study graphic design when I can

I wanna make street wear fabulous in Manila

Something iconic and not redundant

Flashy yet cool

Whatcha think

XOXO

your friendly weird neighbor , Witchita