Cold.

dear loveds thanks for always being there for me even though im a perfectly flawed and imperfect being that keeps on changing and spinning around like crazy wherein i have zero friends and fucks to give this fuckin new year since sometimes when i do become alone which is all the time i feel so lonely but i catch myself and always count my blessing

I think at 26 i have grown enough adulthood swag that the swag lowd have mercy on me and my hatred on : lloyd cervantes, hazel dee and jeoff racelis. They hurt me too much like hell

I miss alveo and their culture to the point i wasn’t culture shocked at all

I fear change the most but that is all we always need to move forward

I have come freed from the motherfuckin world

I miss being 22

I miss being thrown to the depths of Taiwan

Not knowing a thing about the universe or the world itself

Just leaving the world of the academe without much merit or recognition

Was truly, deeply hellish

but then again we are the choices that we make.

Last year was a sitch

i can’t believe i got hired like cray 2 days after my birthday

when nobody came and i spent a dime tryna think i could have fun

I will always miss my boss in alveo

The only boss

Next to dior

i know my blog is hoarish but pls bear with me

i have hurt myself Too deeply last year

am quite afraid

But the new will always be new

And we

Shall

Always

Have

Time

To

Breathe

…no yosi pls sherry

Tama na sa mga taong nakaraan.

Btw facebook stopped me from liking posts again…

more like blocked me.

 

…God knows everything.

Too many things

So heres Whiz Khalifa in Saint Laurent.

Tomorrow I dunno what to expect

I just learned to drown the noise in

From things that get too much on my head

That literally

I just wanna scream

Where is my sale

 

I dont even pine for a boyfriend

But I always remember the books that got me by high school;

the books in class academically

Assigned to us

 

The A’s I never pretended I could get whatever I aimed for

 

The movie, “The First Time”.

the guy in college I thought,

I actually like.

 

 

The many, many haunted things and specified images that haunt my head

the decisions I am making,

 

the laundry lady who was witty and pretty

who told me I am young to be 26

— tomorrow.

 

It suddenly rained tonight.

Maybe

 

the universe is weeping for my age

@ 25 got not much– money friends family feelings,

 

 

How do you drown those noises unwanted

those people who are assholes

 

Those people who actually are so selfish and don’t care enough that

you invited them

asking who is on the guest list

asking if they can leave early.

 

 

So why bother going ???