Why Am I

You’re born, you know, the wrong names, wrong parents. I mean, that happens. You call yourself what you want to call yourself. This is the land of the free.

–  Bob Dylan
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Easy Love.

I may always make mistakes and consume all those iced lattes from Starbucks and some of those capitalist bullshit, but dare I say despite not having any : family, friends, a someone to lean onto, there will be many misadventures yet to happen in my life, to wishing amnesia from all moments of despair and stress and catapulting loneliness or dementia or shit like crappy days to batshit memories or crazy yellings from mother to regretting I had this thing called a second Life.

Im wishing you grow up into the woman you are destined to be. Never forget those who cheered for you! Someday, you shall and will have a decent family and some company too. Real ones. XOXO, cheerios. 💄

 

being grateful,

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ive just recently been to dubai.

Its been real nice.

the food was amazing I ate much, but

The people were so kind and open.

I really liked how this little african baby just kept staring at me.

And all the head covers they have and scarves and them elegant long cloaks Muslim women wear are a mystery to some foreign girl like me.

theme parks were awesome,

Rode a roller coaster with a Jewish family.

Also visited synagogues and mosques.

Reminiscent of Germany

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Happy new year

Fragile cities

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This year I have been grateful to have met people worthy of me.

My life has its turnabouts, such as my family leaving me. Also, there will be people whom may not have the kind understanding why I harbor my resentment toward my own parents.

Likewise sending me here and there.. everywhere! To all parts of the world.

Unnamingly, as I pour piece by piece, tear by tear ounces of myself in this blog , I pray to cope and find moments of healing : for my sickness, my growth, my place in this world.

And a couple of understanding. That’s all we will ever need in our life.

To the people who left me and declined me, thanks.

Closed flowers

Whilst June may be quite over for most of us, It has given me plenty sentiments like having doubts and confusion about the present. To lost a lot of heart is a bad deal, but to gain love and light is all we ever search for.

  • I have no family. Yes enough.
  • I have no money. Where and how.
  • No boyfriend HAHAHAHA
  • Too vulnerable and open to people. Too trusting, humane or uhm sensitive? Hmm .
  • Don’t agree with my $ — job .