dear everyone

ive been trying real hard to stay adrift. most days i feel somewhat blank and unspoken. i talk to strangers i forget. but i never remember not to be kind. thank you for the kind souls ive met in the year. the days may be most unpleasant but the comeback overrides the setbacks

i know one day will come

that i rise

thank you for letting me speak to my one and only college crush

and also for all the beauty and art i always see and appreciate

day by day

may all the glory be to god

he is the only healer giver protector and sole refuge

he is our strength

thank you

much love.


Saying thanks


I rarely find the time to work out lately so im catching it up with some shopping haha. I still cant feel the moment when 2017 is ending. I had a lot of ups and downs this year that made me teary eyed but grateful. Also I met some people with beautiful souls and got some friends whom I think will never leave me. Theres nothing quite left to say either when you have 411 likes and 43 follows just in a years time. I miss LA and travelling in general. Hope to go on a trip soon by myself. Tomorrow I go to the woods with my friend Anna. I hope our trip would be fun. I miss writing letters in Japanese too to my pen pal. Haha. So many things you missed out doing because you were working the iron cage. So anyway catch ya later. Thanks for reading. You are wonderful and amazing.



Why not?


Let me get this straight.

You are alone in this world, so very alone that strangers become permanent places you would visit and likely encounter day to day… Should you feel indifferent about the causalities which led to your aloneness? Or do you give in and feel sorry your circumstances led you in such unforgivable state?

The answer lies within you. The happiness that you seek, after all cannot be found in the midst of externalities.

What makes you shine through or become better and happier is from the choosing to be happy or brighter.

In this world many people will leave us and hurt our souls.

It is inevitable to regret sharing parts of ourselves, deepest forms of our character to them who will just lie around and make our minds hurt of despair and confusion.

The thing is, it is very hard to forgive and forget. When the incidents are gone the terrible memories remain. Those demons we face on our own are remnants of how we battled some scars in dealing with people and problems.

Again it is not very easy to forget. Much more forgive people who never bothered apologizing, feeling the bit remorseful or showing a little humility along the way.

But guess what? It’s their problem. Not ours to bear or carry. So whatever you are holding through, I salute you for being brave.

Not everyone can smile in darkness or laugh while hurting. The best ones do.

Love, keep smiling.


The sky is blue

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I just realised most of years in life, we never remember the ideas we so thought of, dreams we listed forth on our minds, people we encountered daily or the myriad of happenstances or events that go our way.

Still on the gist of things, a few sparks of memory do stain the empty wallflower silhouettes of days where we no longer form the consciousness to revel on thoughts of the past.

Flowering on the impulse to latch onto hope or brighter things, many are quick witted to admit they still are fully, by themselves. To note seasonal changes in history, everything changes and nothing is truly lost..

Circumstance is our greatest threat and enemy. These are times where we feel sad, angry, lost or in dire need of grace or a miracle. The fire within us sometimes burns with no light, no energy to keep us going on. Needlessly, we put the blame on others and not ourselves for what happened. If there is anything far greater in between of fate- it is our actions.

To run the miles of consequence would be to ask where it started.

Beyond our wildest imagination, we form inconceivable ties with people; broken ones that hung dry. As coming to a shock , our once dear friends or lovers become the grim, small ignominies that is a part of everyday existence.

We blame them for our heartbreaks and failures, as if the universe conspired in their best efforts to collaborate and consequentially, sabotage the things we cared and loved most deeply.

To escape the ugly truth, we pin the accusation on the very people who were causal and thus liable to our problems. Hereby the process, forgetting the very selves who were part of the same coin.

Because if there were really people to blame, it should be nobody; not even ourselves to question.

If people leave us, we should ask ourselves why and come to the fact that everything in life is and always will be, merely temporary. Life is too short to be ambiguous in relationships. We should strike a balance on what is important and what should not take up space in the deepest corners of our hearts and mind.

A reminder to those who were stood up, hurt, walked on or abused: it will never be your fault. Some, if not most people that stay in our lives are treasured for a reason.

  • Never let the people in your life know how much it hurts.
  • Don’t take anyone for granted, always be grateful for the things you own and the people in your life who care for you deeply.
  • Pray for your enemies, love harder.

Nothing in life is here permanently ; if you are having a hard time, know it will not stay forever.


** To those hurting from past events or unexpected circumstances, I hope you heal and hope for brighter days. You are amazing, don’t ever let anybody take your light and soul away. Keep going, never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game called ‘life.’



It is always darkest before dawn.