joy

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why it pays to be kind humble and smart 

nowadays ive been on the hunt for genuine happiness. facebook has been such a joy giver all the pages or blogs per se i follow post some ridiculous on point (pardon the jargon) shit that totally meshes well or like, um relates well in my life, speaking of, I keep ordering mcdonalds delivery food, note the double iced coffee for my caffeine boost and extra virgin vanilla jk lawl ive been dealing heavy stuff lately. I mean my blog means the world to me as it is my baby. It really makes me happy someone, you probably don’t know, but a simple like can make my day bloom.

It has been 35 days since I resigned. I have gone through emotional whirlwinds I cannot myself comprehend. Done shit as an agent I couldn’t fuckin compromise as it goes against my logic and identity… Things such as

1 begging clients in chinese, translating chinese, helping my teammates …former,speak in chinese hilariously

2 chasing richies

3 giving my card and having small talk la la

4 enjoying the fuck out of my job

… i feel like my life died a bit when i left sales

Good thing, Ms J …lets just call her that, came to my rescue last September 4 like omg I was getting bully vibes from my teammates but nonetheless, Karma is there to teach us humility and patience,

So I met this lady who gave me her card.

I got deep, deep salute to her as she is the Girl Boss I always always will follow and admire …hello Dior, my first official girl boss.

Also Ms Mary Chinjen, shout out to you,

I hope you both will make my journey worthwhile and teach me lessons worth more than a golden minefield.

To my Taiwan experience, goodbye. Also, Alveo. Good bye.

Love you all.

xx Sher 2018

pls dont be scared

keep the faith

the rest will follow

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macbeth

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just around the corner

so like yestuhday i took my insurance exam like a pro __ um

i really didn’t study much so i quite predicted to say sorry i failed the test since it has 50 items and the mock exams were quite difficult to understand……

then

a miracle happened, all my sleepless nights worrying turned out real mighty fine as i took the exam around 15 min since computerized and time limit and all and you gotta have a username

mine was st.chan@acevariable

um

i had a great time last oct 24 -25 since

i went to the gym then was able to buy at kevins toy store 100 php real cool collectible toys probably from clash of clans

they also sell ninja turtle

pero mejo hype

kaya i went with the unique quirky cool ones

check my ig they’re there.

then

the next morning as always unable to have a sleep cycle i basically ordered yet another mcdonalds delivery but this time it was the best as it arrived no sooner than ten minutes and the two piece chix was so delish like uhhhm

then i grab then arrived at un ave…

didn’t know

what to expect

i hate exams since sales made me dumber people watching…

but ey

i passed oh waw

didn’t breathe

for like fifteen minutes

trauma na ko sa exam

kasi like the last exam sa ortigas training  (they literally have a lot of training) … my seatmate checked my answer wrong when it was right.

tapos ako pag mag check nung sakanya kahit mali spelling check nalang like i just gauged it on his deviance more than the regular academic precision

but he naman on the other hand corrected my super duper minor mistakes like maybe my handwriting was not legible for his understanding.

the worse

was making my right answer wrong to the point i had to ask a random girl seatmate on the left if tama ba yung sagot

hay

i woulda gotten three or like two dumb mistakes lang but i got like around 4.5 or 5 mistakes thanks to him

actually 2 mistakes lang

pero the trainor gio praised me naman

tapos ako lang nakapasok from our so called team sa training room

since my then boss threatened me of salary deduction if i didn’t come

lol

may sakit pa ko non

grabe noh

anyway

enough about it

im quite ecstatic napasa ko yung license exam

i was ready to fail pero waw

and btw glorietta 3 and 4 are the best

hehe

never ko na appreciate since always manning ako since 2017 sa ayala malls greenbelt and glorietta

di ko alam ano na mangyari sakin

sira yung circadian rhythm ko huhuhuhu

ilang weeks na kong zombie

100 years na

since 2009

nag move out ako dorm na sa college di nakakatulog

hay

sleep is life pa naman

sana naman maging maayos na

tipidera pa kasi sobrang takot ako walang allowance

tapos may client na nag offer nanaman nang job

tama na pls

sobrang dami na kong nakilala this year tbh na gusto ako ihire

eh

dream ko lang naman magkastore na street vibes hay hay buhay

walang pondo

my fashion designer dreams died

but i still doodle.

dunno about ma though

mediyo mahal

hirap na magaral pag nagtatrabaho ka na

unless kaya mo ibalance

ok thanks bye

sorry for the rant

im so tired the whole motherfucking year

met tons of people

spoke

i hope i get my voice heard

this time

up to the next years

Bullying

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All my life I have been a silent child, up to responsible sensible young adult who can drive at seventeen to a sweet rebel teenager who can stand up and fight for herself

I can handle people throwing shade at me as I know how to fight back and scream in silence but what I cannot most tolerate are the treatment my parents have shown since birth

All they do is complain they spent a million on my studies, a million on my operation, which by the way was so critical looking back I wished God whomever He is took me already

To cut it short, someday I know I can tell with bright fiery eyes and gleam how I was raised in an abusive household. Up to now that I am a working twenty something, I left all my so called friends who have decent parents and travel and have a social life.

My heart burns with hatred but nobody should judge that. Everytime I go home my mom manages to say something unkind, or just last night my dad told me, if my attitude stays the same, then nobody will come near me.

It was hurtful how he delivered it. I was simply listening at my earphones music blasting that I had nonchalantly closed the door. It was barely loud but I guess the crickets were banging that it was apparently audible.

In my heart I have humbled a sense not to cry anymore over nonsense things. But it shookt me that he really is a patriarch old man who cannot modernize his ways, who always treat others better, who cannot accept girls in the family.

I am the first born and only girl

Many times some dear people told me not to be self pity to myself, but other times you simply cannot help it

Being emo, being so hard on yourself to the point your current boss tells you be happy and not be emo

So anyway point is Im growing up

I wish to finally break the curse of the rebellious teenage angst me and live a life of my own alone. Financially capable and knows how the world works.

Thank you for reading.

If ever you do.

Happy October.

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being the first born in the family of four and the eldest of three brothers, i found it quite difficult to navigate society and make sense of the political era before me. family was a question of trust and obedience. i remember in college i often go to our resident psychologist to speak my mind off. shut between worlds i only found my safe identity inside the school. dorming was a blessing and joy to someone so young and fragile, lost and meaningless. it was during third year, junior year that i made sense about academics when core subjects kicked in. i will never ever forget the times i had to edit videos for class during freshman and sophomore year, the time they had a paintball stand inside the school facility and i chickened out joining. the time i joined cads twice and got rejected. the time i got accepted to blue symphony. i passed their test or whatever. i will never forget the times i had to wait long by the waiting shed, as the clouds turn grey and my 9pm classes of crime fic was doubtful and dreary

or that time i gave my all in everything but only get a D in Math 19 or a D in Accounting10, or failing Accounting 30 or whatever that subject is next to the first Accounting subject.

i miss college so much i went there last may to get a breather.

i was badly wounded somebody blocked me just for saying good bye

i went then to our school to find refuge

best thing ever

i miss you bad ateneo

please come home for me

xoxo

sherr

bloom

dearest diary

i have had enough with people who always take me for granted,

today i willingly talked with our sales director in the company, and all he did was grill me into saying how the real world is cruel and unfair and how i seem to be …sheltered wow as if he knew the path i walked onto and my character per se…

i realize how we, as a human individual, can never really find ourselves and our worth in a person,

and how we must blossom where our heart and purpose go.

i deeply tried to leave their division and my team, but sales director said how i was the only rare case that dared to do that,

as nobody tried to leave due to personal preference,

just me.

to recount,

i was really clueless how to go about, i love my job but hate how the bosses cannot close the work,

i keep comparing them to my former developer.

the fact is, i love sales as i have thrived to keep up with manning and setting appointments to so many hopefuls na closing pero

lahat paasa,

i just really wished i was placed in a good group.

it is hard to say you can thrive anyplace and bloom,

mahirap yon.

mas mahirap pa kung di mo makita sarili mo dun, and yung purpose mo

and you ask what the heck am i doing this for.

many people broke me over the past years,

people i trusted the most.

i dont even begin to understand some big douchy boss can say and hurl shit stuff like that to my face.

i know education helps in identifying people and their capabilities but this is too much,

respect is the basic human gift apart from kindness,

if one lacks that

then obviously you know which way to go darling.

never ever doubt yourself,

dont give someone the power over you.

and if you dont like the people there,

better leave with head held high.

it doesnt matter anymore.

all the praise i held,

galing yun sa taas.

lahat ng ginawa ko,

sa alveo and sa nakaraan,

the effortless work i did for ortigas.

thank you so much, sales.

maybe, i have garnered enough lessons.

nobody ought to even point it out loud.

thanks for the grand finale.

signing off xoxo

sherry

Cherry on top

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Dear sherr

I know it must be goddamn frustating to be mistaken as ‘cherry’ all the time in the months of late june to july present.

It sure is hard to leave my boss, who probably has some deep hard sentiments he cannot unleash for fear of nothing spectacular lately.

And jon ty is not there.

He probably is just some fantasy

Surely ayala is to be left outside the boxes of memory I need to scream and arrange – rather rearrange

Simply put :

Everything

 

I need a miracle

A sign of grace and mercy

 

I need more empathic people

Than nosy noisy pep talks and people

Btw thank you for the hardship

It was indeed quite wholesome and fab

 

I cannot believe moving to Ortigas has been such an honour.