Happiness is a choice.
Happiness is a choice.
so i totally like today
whilst it still
is 11:54,i miss LA and the good vibes around there .
yeah nobody cares
i often try
but when do i stop
my patience eventually runs
neither does my career shift
it has been hard
i pretend it is all happy
post nice shit on fb
live my legacy as an eagle
but wounds hurt
and my heart dies day by day
emo much but ey
so much people hurt me
should i still
or run away
…cheers from my enemies
i am just going by with the flow of the days
nobody misses me
i aint got any real friends
got no family either
much less a boyfriend
i aint complaining here
am actually proud only one guy
was able to touch me
but that wont happen again
ps : we all need love
Here are the things that currently run across my mind
Baguio God Sales Limit.
Its getting late and its been hours since I have tried to upload my baguio street photography stash but the internet doesnt seem to cooperate
Ive since realised you can always make your life better
Ie. if you dont fit in with your job or the people there uninspire you go search a new one !!
eight hours ago you were a different person
NOW you can always always change your life for the better.
Seriously like im sitting right now in a coffee shop with fleas buzzing around me and it annoys the fuck out of me but for the sake of wifi
See the bigger picture
Why do we work
Because we need to earn money to fuel our dreams.
There always is a cause and effect
Everything that happens to us have consequences that stems from the root of our action
If you believe in mind over matter,
All the bad luck coming or whatever shitty days you might have are nothing but water
So relating to water,
I’ve recently watched Shape of Water and it was incredible.
Im so sorry if the tone of this narrative is irritable (said previously im staying at a crappy coffee shop writing this piece profusely )
Lates ive been frantic about the meaning of life,
Like searching for your Truest self.
Examples might be going back to writing, getting runs from the gym or say, losing yourself over something ot someone in order to find yourself paradoxically in a way
I mean, ive been on this sales job since March of 2017 and it has been killing my insides so deeply that I have never imagined doing this sort of job and talking to these many people or hearing retorts that may be rhetorical or heavily idiotic to put it
Im so sorry im blogging my private thoughts on the internet
But lately ive been so sad im afraid depression might rain on me again like it did last 2013 when my tooth got chipped over a zombie run
Um or that horrid times abroad where I came and went for five months vying over a job title that meets the meager salary of a “yaya” in the Philippines aka Teaching assistant at a preschool or TA.
See, if I wrote over these experiences like going door to door in Mandarin cram schools looking for a job at 22, to finding one and getting paid your first summer camp salary at 23 and getting admitted to a real world job at 22 not from your current country
After getting denied from previous publishing industries locally postgrad I had to find my first ever real world job abroad
Many things happened to me alone in another country,
Like eating strange cuisine or talking to so many random strangers or looking onto coffee shops like snowglobes and wondering where my friends and family at
Or crying because my list of dreams in college got ruined because I dont have the support or financial capacity to fund it all like shit
So you see, the real world is tough and the vapidity of it all is self absorbing engrossment of capitalism and lack of education amongst peers around you who never fully knew the importance or grace of academic society, aka getting schooled.
When I entered sales I was frenetic and lost to the point of breaking my limits like crying since January or losing it whenever those “paasa” clients seem to hit it like crazy
But never actually buying into the idea of investment.
I never thought I would enter a wild world of drinking, cold calls and smoke everywhere like cray
Not that I hate it, I mean Ive always had ideals
But now they’ve been quite broken
From the roots of money and pain, the causes of unemployment and the search of another and the self in the ruthless world of changing economies and titles and global warming and months to the future and panic,
Ive had loads of doubts and fears to the point 2017 both terrified me and made me a stronger woman amidst the fall of literal and metaphysical worlds.
I have got many stories to tell and my grammar has been rusty since im not literally around academics,
But I promise you readers and 60 meager followers I will read to the best of success that I can.
And I will write with passion and wit and humour and pain and happiness to the limits of my existence.
Heres my prayer to each and everyone to be invincible, to follow your dream and to not let anyone have power over you, choose to love others, always be kind because love is kind.
Love is and always will be kind.