Suffer

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… Pain is inevitable suffering is optional

I value my blog because it is here where I have truly been expressing all my feelings, emotions, thoughts, whims, fantasy and desire

Lately I have humbled down to the boss I have served from last year,

And it boils down to it that I cannot have my clearance signed since this goddamn stupid sales director cannot freaking sign it.

I know most people avoid negativity, but you know guys and girls, choose your environment.

This is where you will grow and succeed to your truest form and potential

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Hype beast

Sometimes, I wonder

If it is worth the pain and risk to endure all the attacks, cruelty, stares, glares, stars, signs, almighty power of the world.

To not give a fuck

Is like removing your heart

That constantly pumps sorrows of veins and oxygenated blood

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New

Whatever happened to chivalry, to people who are actually, decent and kind

To people who actually, look good and make u feel good,

To people who actually, respect that you are straight af

That you dont apparently like lgbt peers but respect them.

To people who dont have a fam

But get over life like its their last laugh

Ya know

Where are those people

Huh

Nevertheless

Sixpence None The Richer

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Hey guys

I admit I have been posting

A lot in social media lately

And watching Youtube

And I got this (dis) phone

Dissed

Like left behind

Since I got a new cell thats like

Samsung C8

And I smartunlocked it here

Since it came from China,

Um dad’s donation

So basically

I have been ditching work

But at the same time

Intriguingly

Reminisced the power of 2017

How it gave me the entire

Year

To map out

Rough out my mess

And plant a seed in me

Something untouchable

Nevermind the pains

It provided me a gift

Given that I can strongly agree

I don’t cry anymore

I have a newfound self awareness

That its clearly okay to be alone

That we can never win our battles

But we can choose how to

React or like,

Deal slash cope towards it

In my case its my mom and family

Also my dad

Like I said in this blog

It has been a history

Of hurt

Thats why im proud im moving on

I really liked today for some reason

Its totally rad

Nobody cares about my social media posts

And im sure there are some creepers out there I have yet to unfriend

You all know how the world goes

Always remember the only one that can hurt you

Is

Yourself

Xoxo,

Forever single but proud independent

Happy 96

 

 

!S

Hello

Welcome to BS Crush It.

This is the crash course to when you learn to DGAF when a) unexpected incidents happen b) the world is probably ending now c) your mom incessantly mocks and derrogates you again like when you were a teenager d) you are just simply killin it

With kindness, surely. Most def.

Well well, at the course of my life. I simply am me.

I have no words for the pain I suffered since I read something that pain is actually weakness leaving the body.

Aint that true ?

!!!

I mean hellya I totes forgot my high school “friends” and in college I was a bookish loner but ya know.

We must never forget the memories that struck us deep within of who we really are.

Now I am stuck in the real world. And by real world I don’t mean high school.

To begin with I was surprised at elementary and high school, years I dare not touch,

I was never bullied in school

Probably my second life gave me that secret power to yield those throat ass*s but um

Never really had a lingering memory or like a foreshadowing of the past

That somebody nearly killed me or what

Maybe just in china when I was 13 well just turned 13 and there was a brother to brother bullying like they were two brothers shooking the navel off me.

Geez

Anyway I have nothing to say to my blog.

Ya know

Like I tried to be a good girl for most of my life.

My parents even sent me to rehab like they aren’t supposed to be there right now.

 

All I can say is that when people fight you and get mad at you in an overrated sense (hello mudra)

Just simply. Ignore.

You can never demand respect anyway but you can respect yourself enough to walk away from the situation.

Amirite?

 

When I was around 19 navigating my angst tough aging teenage years I was pretty much at the stage where I really was struggling with my art and music and all those dreamy things I wish I could relive.

I often asked why my own mother was always so tough on me.

She never could appreciate or acknowledge anything nice out of me.

Quite the tiger mom really.

And having three brothers next to me feels like I am supposed. And yes insistently, live this life like some pretty exclusive lotus flower.

 

I simply wish I will meet more wonderful people along the way to guide me and help me become who I am.

I will always be grateful for Dior Mommy, Robert Daddy, Gable, Aunty Curdy, Grace the Teaching Assistant, Sylvia my Camp Counselor Teammate, and of course my greatest boss Gad. Hello Boss. Haha. I think you’re not reading this. Psh.

Anyway I am hella Happy I can Be Hella from Thor.

Indestructible.

So far I blocked all Alveo peeps.

They really fuel my heart with so much tears. The irony.

I really wish I can just start over and not remember all the time I spent.

But I guess they don’t really remember me or like say care about my own feelings.

In Alveo though I will never ever forget Sir Gerry B. Haha

And Boss Norman Lim

Ian Casem our Area Sales Director.

And my forever beloved Boss Gad.

 

These days I just came to happy lemon, even spelled out my name S-H-E-R-R-Y. And then they printed out “cherry ” yet again.

Oh my did I react and squabbled.

Haha

Why is this name haunting me?????

To the brink 7$ I am getting my comm late September.

So thats like debts to the living for now.

Yikey.

Ohwells I will manage.

What a crazy world.

I still feel like a teenager though.

Wheres my hoodie. My starbucks. My rollercoaster. My zombie folks. My favourite dream. My castle.

– is the world really ending?

Too many things

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So heres Whiz Khalifa in Saint Laurent.

Tomorrow I dunno what to expect

I just learned to drown the noise in

From things that get too much on my head

That literally

I just wanna scream

Where is my sale

 

I dont even pine for a boyfriend

But I always remember the books that got me by high school;

the books in class academically

Assigned to us

 

The A’s I never pretended I could get whatever I aimed for

 

The movie, “The First Time”.

the guy in college I thought,

I actually like.

 

 

The many, many haunted things and specified images that haunt my head

the decisions I am making,

 

the laundry lady who was witty and pretty

who told me I am young to be 26

— tomorrow.

 

It suddenly rained tonight.

Maybe

 

the universe is weeping for my age

@ 25 got not much– money friends family feelings,

 

 

How do you drown those noises unwanted

those people who are assholes

 

Those people who actually are so selfish and don’t care enough that

you invited them

asking who is on the guest list

asking if they can leave early.

 

 

So why bother going ???