Wherever

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Barely felt summer 2018

Highlights

I threw a party and 4 people came

I drank Sangria

I got sick

Entirely april was full of sick

Music is my first love

I am being

Humble

I love my family

My boss

My teammates

The people who truly encouraged

Me

To be

Simply

Strong

Kind

Reliable

Responsible

Thats it.

Though some days

I get the usual

Anxiety

Play this game

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God is a miracle.

Here are the things that currently run across my mind

Baguio God Sales Limit.

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Its getting late and its been hours since I have tried to upload my baguio street photography stash but the internet doesnt seem to cooperate

 

~

 

Ive since realised you can always make your life better

 

Ie. if you dont fit in with your job or the people there uninspire you go search a new one !!

eight hours ago you were a different person

NOW you can always always change your life for the better.

 

Seriously like im sitting right now in a coffee shop with fleas buzzing around me and it annoys the fuck out of me but for the sake of wifi

 

Im staying

See the bigger picture

Why do we work

 

Because we need to earn money to fuel our dreams.

 

There always is a cause and effect

 

Everything that happens to us have consequences that stems from the root of our action

 

If you believe in mind over matter,

then

All the bad luck coming or whatever shitty days you might have are nothing but water

~

So relating to water,

I’ve recently watched Shape of Water and it was incredible.

 

Im so sorry if the tone of this narrative is irritable (said previously im staying at a crappy coffee shop writing this piece profusely )

~

 

Lates ive been frantic about the meaning of life,

Like searching for your Truest self.

Examples might be going back to writing, getting runs from the gym or say, losing yourself over something ot someone in order to find yourself paradoxically in a way

 

I mean, ive been on this sales job since March of 2017 and it has been killing my insides so deeply that I have never imagined doing this sort of job and talking to these many people or hearing retorts that may be rhetorical or heavily idiotic to put it

Im so sorry im blogging my private thoughts on the internet

 

But lately ive been so sad im afraid depression might rain on me again like it did last 2013 when my tooth got chipped over a zombie run

 

Um or that horrid times abroad where I came and went for five months vying over a job title that meets the meager salary of a “yaya” in the Philippines aka Teaching assistant at a preschool or TA.

See, if I wrote over these experiences like going door to door in Mandarin cram schools looking for a job at 22, to finding one and getting paid your first summer camp salary at 23 and getting admitted to a real world job at 22 not from your current country

After getting denied from previous publishing industries locally postgrad I had to find my first ever real world job abroad

Many things happened to me alone in another country,

Like eating strange cuisine or talking to so many random strangers or looking onto coffee shops like snowglobes and wondering where my friends and family at

Or crying because my list of dreams in college got ruined because I dont have the support or financial capacity to fund it all like shit

So you see, the real world is tough and the vapidity of it all is self absorbing engrossment of capitalism and lack of education amongst peers around you who never fully knew the importance or grace of academic society, aka getting schooled.

When I entered sales I was frenetic and lost to the point of breaking my limits like crying since January or losing it whenever those “paasa” clients seem to hit it like crazy

But never actually buying into the idea of investment.

I never thought I would enter a wild world of drinking, cold calls and smoke everywhere like cray

Not that I hate it, I mean Ive always had ideals

But now they’ve been quite broken

From the roots of money and pain, the causes of unemployment and the search of another and the self in the ruthless world of changing economies and titles and global warming and months to the future and panic,

Ive had loads of doubts and fears to the point 2017 both terrified me and made me a stronger woman amidst the fall of literal and metaphysical worlds.

I have got many stories to tell and my grammar has been rusty since im not literally around academics,

But I promise you readers and 60 meager followers I will read to the best of success that I can.

And I will write with passion and wit and humour and pain and happiness to the limits of my existence.

Heres my prayer to each and everyone to be invincible, to follow your dream and to not let anyone have power over you, choose to love others, always be kind because love is kind.

Love is and always will be kind.

I Thank God Everyday :)

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Hello dear followers!

Thanks so much for going through some random stuff on my blog, I can’t believe you guys are 52 already and I mostly don’t even blog about random personal stuff

To be honest much has been going on lately, I missed the afterparty then also been overworking lately in my current work. It’s been almost a year, come about april, I want to reap a sale or two, God please.

I feel like maybe smoking a couple of weed could do it, rough jobs in sales are such a pity for introverts like me who pretty much overanalyze and foresight everything onto the equation

So anyway

I haven’t found my friends yet. Those change makers who come into your life like angels and wish your dream pull you up and never let go

Like,

Those people who really value you to see you make it real hard in this world and protect you from the harsh reality you already endured.

I wanna be around people who don’t take and undermine you and boss you around like you’re such a low status ranking peasant

and they’re like the queen biatches or kween bees of the world

nasty

enough to undercut your priceless existence

Ya know

Stay real

Haters gon’ hate

Stay gold.

Ps: please avoid people who always have their way /s with you, like asking for shit, toying with your feelings, treating ya differently in public vis-a-vis private, uncultured nondiscreet

company

Oh, you know uhm people who disclose gossip and low level conversations juxtapose that with bejeweled intellectual talk talk.

I am seriously depressed with the people who surround me.

It seems more likely to say that people you hold a pedestal to, having known them for them but actually having no idea on who they really, really are. Anyways I am heavily apologetic for this rant sesh.

Just been crazy lonely lately figuring out who I am like it’s high school again and wondering where my path lies this year

Learning that every challenge comes an opportunity

And treat people nicely despite the heartache

Of them treating you like a piece of shit (aka you dont exist in this space right here *  * )

I’ve gone through some terrible shit but not this social suicide

where you put your entire soul on a person and they just light a smoke and set a fire to burn your heart.

I rarely write about boys but really though, find someone who loves you

The real, unwitheld, facade-less genuine

you.

#HappyAlveoLife

#RaiseTheGame2018

#ConquerYourFears

#TakeChances / #TakeAim

Get up

gotta get going even though life fucks us up . Get baked. Smoke crack. Build foundations that hold you, carry you

Follow and look up to leaders who possess empathy and Truth

This is your life

you, millenial.

Gotta get get going

 

being grateful,

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ive just recently been to dubai.

Its been real nice.

the food was amazing I ate much, but

The people were so kind and open.

I really liked how this little african baby just kept staring at me.

And all the head covers they have and scarves and them elegant long cloaks Muslim women wear are a mystery to some foreign girl like me.

theme parks were awesome,

Rode a roller coaster with a Jewish family.

Also visited synagogues and mosques.

Reminiscent of Germany

/

Happy new year