Little star

So lately I panic and sleep for 100 hours and wake up to the reality of this thing called helloworld.

I catch myself most days feeling so hype up in anxiety aka anxiettack that I feel like nobody in my family cares that sick girl is actually here in their house thats not a house. Hello?

All I manage is drink the messy pills doctor says I drink, as I reminisce the times I had back then in Taipei I had to drink and buy those Chinese-Japanese Seirogan pills

And actually bomb on someones house after eating politely and having easy conversations with them

as I excuse myself

It hasn’t always been this way,

Barely do I have allergic reactions, viruses or whatever food inclined problems

But why is this happening now?

After I spent awhile Viber blasting people to invite to our event on Sunday

As I pity my boss that I am such a sick girl who always seem to have problems

Like,

When will my life get better

When will I have friends

Actually, real people to talk to

Those people who actually, will listen

How long does it take for me to wait?

 

Wake up,

 

Wheres home and yuh, gbye past.

#ToPeopleWhoUsedMe

#ToPeopleWhoJudgedMe

#ToPeopleWhoNeverCared

Lastly, adopting Haley Phams words.

If you dont like the people in your class, talk to the teacher.

Yups, baby girl

 

Thats what I do.

Now where is my 100B

Biotch

 

To the guy (are you a guy) who never will fully understand how much he/she hurt me

Auf wiedersehen you yes YOU

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Lately

I have been pretty depressed again

But working real hard !!!

😐

I realized I have been thinking too much of what I had gotten into

That I stopped to sleep well and cried over so many things that are painful but petty illogical unlikely causals

I never should have gotten myself into

Anyway

It’s just that life pretty much determines where we go from where we got up from

See,

I was never really a part of my family

That’s why lately my heart has this aching hole to find like, a home or a family, something like that.

Where do you find Spiderman or say, God?

How do you stay alive when you don’t eventually know where you put all your hard work for is going to go?

See what I mean,

I think too much. I fuck up a lot but Seriously, I have been working so hard been quite paranoid and lately, lonely

 

Where am I going

 

Are my dreams still made and ebbed in time?