IDFC.

Hey loves.

I know most of you have lives, lives meaning you got friends, a family more or less, a good home, a stable income, or a committed partner.

Times have been changing and lately, I just laugh off my depression and anxiety since the world is too cruel to be true.

But other times, I gain inspiration from other people I observe from he streets, people who are homeless, clothes and all, no food to eat.

Those who just lay in the streets, while watching expensive luxurious black friday hauls on Youtube and being hella scared off my future.

Me ready to die anytime soon, 26 and partyless friendless alone and living broke as hell.

Me.

Yup.

I just wanna have decent friends who share my emotional fields, battles, common ground.

Those who are willing to fight for me as I am for them.

Those who prioritize the time we spent.

People who are, authentic.

Well, to normalize, extraordinary but normal, people.

I may not know how to be one, as my heart turned cold last June 2018 when my work with Ayala Land disappeared.

I decided to blew things off by deciding for myself and by myself, with a blessing from my entrepreneur uncle, none so from my so called biological rents.

As I write this worrying about everything, I pray I can have the heart to start all over again.

To the people reading this, bless you more and have a great last days of November.

Love you all.

Xx sherr

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Hey loves!

thank you all

so much

105 follows,

wow im flanked.

I try pretending each day

to just focus on myself

my space

my loves

but you know

its really, really hard

Life is a drama

A dog eat dog world

The survival of the fittest

Very darwinian right

Haha oh my,

I got two interviews

tomorrow

and on Thurs

Been invisible at work

Di na ko pumapasok since

Nag hawaii so called boss ko

 

Haaaaaay I dont want to rant pero sobrang confusing

 

 

Napakagrateful ko though.

Thanks to Alveo.

I got too many job offers at 26

Tryna be an adult

It resurfaces

but that sad kid in me

is still there.

I cut connections off my mom

Likewise my family.

It was all too much.

I cant remember the last time I was really happy

The only people kept me going were the bosses in Ayala

It felt all too much like a dream

I wish I never left

But nobody was there to take me in for a double job or extra cash

Wala rin mangutangan

Ayoko naman mangutang.

the Glory

is all up from God.

Lahat ng ginawa ko

tingnan mo lang

kahit malugkot ako sa officemates ko

I got hired out of hard work

Like

two days after my bday this year

alls been a blur.

I am truly confused,

I doubled my sleeping pills.

More confusing is my dad actually wanting me to pursue my “dreams”na raw like hoho srsly

I worked my damned ass of since college ended.

I dunno how to decide

whether to go with the flow ba or,

Lumaban para sa sarili ko.

Kasi di ko na alam anung gagawin.

Wala na kong pasensya

Tagal ng comm ko

Kadiri ang grupo ko

As in ako yung ginagawang crab para lahat sila umangat.

I lost also the guest list last August by a point.

Was never acknowledged really.

Am glad to the people who kept rescuing me out of that division.

So many really

All my heart

Love.

Whys

what keeps you going

these days

what spark

fire

heart

soul

does your heart speak

?

today I got hired supposedly by Ortigas & Company

I do admire their posture and sophistication

Completely

got emotional and confused

But I realized

I cannot give up my Makati condo you know

I still haveta sell some Ayala property

Before I getta move on.

Dunno if im in love, maybe yes

But really keep it trust

Do anything to be you

I dont know about you

But I long to finally find myself

Cheers and hello

People change.

They say u never really know a person until u spent ur entire life around them  some can truly change while others          change but most of the time they are still the same.

Dont build your life around people and others because once youve invested everything including your entire heart around them

 

And one day they break you like glass and you stand like a doormat

 

Gasping, waiting and suffocating yourself  for answers that go beyond deep words and phases

 

Just like that

 

In the blink of an eye.