Audacity

I always thanked my pain as my companion, the things I had overlooked as an adult, the childhood I never fully suffered out- The posibility always there to calm me down that no matter how difficult life has been I will always, believe in rainbows and sunshine. No matter someone has treated me poorly, there will always be good people out there who have looked and cared after me.

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Living my life alone has had its ups and downs. I always craved the love of my parents since I never really had the time to be there for myself. All my life I had been a shut in. Starting from school. It has always been hard. Growing up was never easy. Sometimes I wish I were still a kid. I dunno where will I find people who will acknowledge and love me the way I want to be loved. But then there are also moments that defines us …simply acknowledging our existence here on earth is enough. Why worry about problems or people out there we cannot please no matter what amount of time we placed on self improvement our brains have shed so many skeletons, I wondered how can one manage to balance intuition and gut, but I do know my self worth lies in all the accomplishments that helped define me as an individual, because it has not been easy trying to love others, finding your voice in a critical world, seeking harsh truths that yield on our personal growth, experience, courage, losing heart is the very worst. If all else fails, at least, you can pause and say cheers. You have been made an even stronger version of you, overthinking or being normal. Isn’t it all quite the same.

Simulation.

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Having had turmoil and deep pain, I had a dream where I was fighting persistently over digitized aspects of life, evolving and being the solution to all my problems.

The enemy is the self, its desires and likelihood, the rights to survival, the voice that knows all things …in a world of copies and cynicism

Many project and maintain certain images, the mask

Mirrors are the likelihood that what we are meant to do

Always follows us in a sense how our story unfolds with the reality that assures all choices are made whole.

 

Close to me.

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My life has been pretty significant since the prologue of 2019.

I had struggled basically, paying bills c/o last year’s demise and pretty much been over my head for the longest time being.

Out of reach are the people supposed to carve by my life, called, “family”, absurd and vague they might be, physically drained and tied down to the notion that “all things happen”

Things change, but those who have found the Lord Almighty, will always rejoice.